By G.W. Schulz
Fuck, people. Buddyhead still destroys, as much as I wanted to be over it. For the uninitiated, Buddyhead's gossip section was a force to be reckoned with for its savage assaults on the worst of the popular music industry delivered in a relentless barrage long before blogs seriously took hold. (They go back at least six years.)
There's the time they posted voicemails from the Explosion's frontman in which he threatened to fly to LA from Boston and kick the shit out of Buddyhead's purveyors (one of whom formerly wielded an axe for what was really not a good band, The Icarus Line, and now tours with Nine Inch Nails). There's the time they spray painted "$uckin' Dick$" on the side of a Strokes tour bus (and the fake interview they also did with the Strokes that featured an accompanying photo of one of their friends clad in an afro doing lines in a toilet stall; this was just as all the Keith Moon lookin' motherfuckers were attaining popularity). Of course, there were also the personal phone numbers of celebrity rockers they've posted on the site.
And for a time, the "Best and Worst Records of ..." couldn't be beat. But the good gossip disappeared for gawd knows how long, probably for the better, and industry followers (including not a few corporate cool hounds) mostly moved to the blogs.
Now the gossip section's back with a long-awaited update complete with Buddyhead's regular litany of grammatical errors and streams of potentially libelous remarks. It probably won't last long, but their still managing to do it better than Idolator could ever really hope to.
Here's a reprint of the their open letter to the new Iggy and the Stooges:
Dear Iggy Pop and The Stooges of the 21st century,
The 4th Stooges record is an abortion. We love you guys, but what the fuck is happening here? The reunion tour you did the last couple of years was great (aside from Mike Watt thinking a Stooge tucks his shirt in, and plays bass at his nipples with his fingers) cuz the songs you wrote 32 years ago are undeniable… how can you fuck that up? But, this new record you fogies made called “The Weirdness” is toilet water! You’re ruining your legacy and making your discography look lame and shitty. No, not “FREE and FREAKY in the USA”… LAME and SHITTY. We’re just gonna pretend there is no “fourth Stooges record” and Iggy never stopped sun bathing in Florida with that South American girlfriend of his with breasts larger than our heads. If anyone ruins our fantasy, Uncle Scott is gonna squeeze heads and make ‘em pop like cantaloupes.
Have fun, kiddies.