Learning to talk dirty from Mickey Avalon


Dirty rappin' about splooge, needles, dead friends and having sex with big-breasted inbred women-- wow Mickey Avalon is a charmer. The Hollywood glam-rapper-- playing Sat/3 at Roe Nightclub-- is far from classy, in fact he's the epitome of trashy and tragic, and yet kind of hot? Wait, wait, wait-- hot? Well, kinda. Ew. I know. So if this is sexy, ladies and gentleman, maybe we should take a few notes.

It's been four years since Avalon's self-titled debut [MySpace Records, 2006] and to be honest, I kind of forgot that he existed. But he's back, ready to penetrate crowds of dirty-minded dancers and apparently he's got a new CD coming out this year, Electric Gigolo [MySpace Records]. As the Guardian has said before, Avalon manages to be simultaneously delightful and disgusting. I thought it was time to reminisce and look through his gritty, pornographic lyrics for a few Avalon gems. Here are five real winners. Mmm...talk dirty to me. 

1. "I sodomized your father in a federal penitentiary. And on the day I got out I went to your mother's house and slept on the couch." 

2. "I'll bust through the shudders, masked in a rubber. Duct tape your mother and butt-rape your brother." 

3. "Four seconds Avalon will give you what you need. Raw-doggin' till we bleed. Force feed horse meat to your sweet buttercup."

4. "I got a monkey on my back with his dick in my ass. Been tryin' to fuck this monkey since algebra class." 

5. "I'll sperm on your perm, leave cigarette burns on your tits." 


OK. Barf. Too dirty....


Mickey Avalon

Sat/3, 9pm, $20

Roe Nightclub

651 Howard, SF



Music is a form of art, a creative extension of the artist. It is best left to be reviewed and interpreted by one with an open mind..

Posted by Guest on Apr. 02, 2010 @ 1:44 pm

Mickey, lived a difficult life in his early days and his expression of what he's seen and been through it nothing to abuse or trash. I have met him personally and he's a delight. He is eloquent and straight forward.... that is hard to find in one person. If NOTHING else, we can all take a lession from him, since he is a recovered addict. He speaks about those dangers in his songs. Consider yourself SCHOOLED.

Posted by Guest on Apr. 02, 2010 @ 3:09 pm

hello, Its all just entertainment and outrageousness!!!! Its not that serious yall!! I am a bible toting, upper crusty, stiff lipped,right winger, conservative ALL the way!! and i aint trippin, why should some liberal (most likely) dumb ass reporter pass her judgement!!! PUUUHHHHLEEEEEEAAZZZZZEEEEE!!!!! xxxoooo Mickey, always!

Posted by Guest on Apr. 02, 2010 @ 5:25 pm

It's upsetting to me that you forgot about Mickey Avalon since 2006, but it's great that you now remember him-- because he is bigger than ever. I am a mickey fan and have shared his creative flows throughout the whole 215 area code here in Philadelphia. In a couple weeks about nine of us will be driving up to Mass to see his show, the show in Ohio too! My bottom line as a super fan is that if you are not able to appreciate his form of music and his lyrics, then don't listen to him. Why should someone who is not a fan disrespect the true fans and the artist himself (if the case) and publish a negative review? Also, Mickey has a pretty interesting history and a nasty group of friends and fellow artists he does music with. I feel Mickey could produce the soundtrack to my life. Just let the music be, and listen to someone else that you find entertaining.
-Eric <3 Johnston

Posted by Eric Johnston on Apr. 02, 2010 @ 3:36 pm

she's saying how much she likes him -- what's your deal? Defensive!

Posted by marke on Apr. 02, 2010 @ 3:59 pm

I have to admit that I am a huge Mickey Avalon fan. I love that he is just who he is, unapologetically. He doesn't care what others think - he just puts out music that reflects him and his life. I appreciate that his art form is shocking & dirty. I love that I can't play him at work and I'd prefer that my dad doesn't know what his little girl is listening to. But that's what’s great about Mickey. He is an escape from the politically correct, he’s irreverent, he’s bold, he’s funny. For me, his music is an outlet that lets me be trashy and sexual - without really going out and being trashy & sexual. Take it as it is, have fun with it - don't be a prude. I hope that Mickey keeps rocking my life for many years to come.
~ amy

Posted by Guest Amy Theresa on Apr. 02, 2010 @ 4:16 pm

hey feisty avalon fans....i am not anti-mickey and neither is this post.

Posted by amberschadewald on Apr. 03, 2010 @ 7:18 pm

you may not be anti-mickey, but you're not getting him, either. if you don't like to get nasty, how much fun can you be anyway?

Posted by Guest on Apr. 04, 2010 @ 12:43 pm

i think it's hilarious that the Mickey fans "are not getting" that the writer is actually giving him props, even after being told a couple times in this thread. hey dumbshits, calm down a bit.

Posted by overstater of the obvious coalition on Apr. 04, 2010 @ 5:12 pm

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