Major Lazer-- playing Fri/15 at Mezzanine-- is a cartoon Jamaican commando who lost an arm during the secret Zombie War of 1984 and then was ever so fortunate to have the US Military replace his flesh with a prosthetic laser gun. Diplo and Switch, a.k.a. the producers behind the music mascot, have quite the imaginations and as they put it, an extensive love for the Jamaican music our country often forgets to credit. Major Lazer is their way of exploiting the exploitation.
His thick accent, dead-sexy arm and dirt-nasty attitude pair perfectly with the sounds Diplo and Switch attach to the name, Major Lazer. Tracks off his debut album, Guns Don't Kill People-- Lazers Do [Downtown, 2009] are filled with heavy bass rumbles that moan and plead for your thighs and loins to get low and scrub the dancehall floor. Lewd lyrics are plentiful if you can pick them out from between the sticky sheets of rapid, vibrating percussion and grinding, surf-like, space guitars. A-list Jamaican artists lend their vocals to Lazer's songs, as well as hipster-favorites like Santigold, for a variety of sassy chorus melodies and hooks.
So how does Mr. Lazer stay so sexy? And his beats so fresh? And what exactly does he do with that laser of his? Only the cartoon-man himself could answer such questions and let me tell you, he was very persuasive. Don't blame me if you end up in his 'yard', looking at his 'lazer.'
SFBG: What do you love most about your Jamaican roots?
ML: MAN AH JAMAICAN. BORN AN BRED. JERK CHICKEN, WESTMORELAND WEED AND USAIN BOLT. TO DI WORL!
SFBG: Your shows are wild-- how should fans prepare for a night with Major Lazer?
ML: DO NUFF PUSH UPS. DRINK NUFF RED BULL. GET READY FOR DI DAGGERIN!
SFBG: "Keep It Goin' Louder" is stacked with major babes-- how do you charm the ladies? Got a winning pick-up line?
ML: IF ME SEE A GIRL ME LIKE. ME JUS SAY "BABY. COME BACK TO MI YARD, MI WAAN SHOW YOU MI LAZER."
SFBG: Are you dating anyone?
ML: ME LOVE ALL DI LADIES. IF DEM WAAN GO PON A DATE, JUST LINK ME UP! COME TO NEGRIL, WE GO FOR SOME STEW FISH.
SFBG: I get the impression that you're a nasty, dirty boy. Do you have a soft side? And for what?
ME LOVE MY ORCHIDS. NUFF ORCHIDS INNA MI MOUNTAIN MANSION.
SFBG: Tell me about your lazer-gun arm. Why not a hook? Have you used your gun for good or evil?
ML: COME BACK TO ME YARD. LET'S TALK ABOUT MI LAZER.
SFBG: I hear you're getting your own show on Adult Swim? What's gonna happen? Major drama?
ML: NUFF DRAMA. NUFF ZOMBIES GONNA LOSE DEM HEAD. TUNE EEN!
Fri/15, 9pm, $30
444 Jessie St, SF