American Idol: The Pia shocker

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Pia: You wuz robbed

When I first saw that Jacob was in the bottom three, I wondered: Did the hard-core Christian vote fail to turn out in a crucial election? Did his on-camera (much hyped) decision to make a moral statement about Marvin Gaye (he refused to sing “Let’s Get it On” because he couldn’t do a song about people “doing the nasty”) make enough of us want to puke that his incredible singing talent was eclipsed?

No: He made it through. Which is fine; the guy can sing. My kids love him. I just hope he’s not a finalist; there’s enough religion on the airwaves as it is.

Now to the real scandal: Pia.

A couple of weeks ago, I was the one complaining about her being boring, and she clearly needs a new stylist; if she’d worn the Thursday outfit (whoa!) for the Wednesday performance, instead of those silly bloomers, she’d have won about 10 million more votes.

But still -- she has an amazing voice, and this week’s “River Deep Mountain High” was a breakout performance.
J-Lo was in tears when Ryan announced the last results: Stephano, in, Pia out. Stephano? One of the weakest competitors? One of the two (along wth Paul) who everyone knows is on borrowed time?

I have to feel a little sorry for the guy -- the audience bitterly booed when he was left standing. But he didn’t deserve to continue on, and she did, and the judges knew it and the audience knew it and you know it too. And now he can’t possibly succeed -- everyone pissed about Pia will vote against him next week.

Next week's losers: Paul (who mangled "Folsom Prison Blues"), Stefano (see above) and Haley (you can't sing Janis Joplin with a stupid shit-earting grin on your face.)

You read it here first. I haven't been right yet.