Idol: We hate America

Don't worry, dude, we'll all buy your CDs

Agghh! Gakk! Sputter! Those howls you hear (and the tears in the background) are the Redmond household at 8:55, when Ryan Seacrest announced that James Durbin had been voted off and was going home. James was a wreck; he didn't expect this, and neither did anyone else. Certainly not our readers.

What the fuck? How could the most talented person on the show -- and one of the most talented ever to appear on Idol -- get kicked off in favor of two half-rate singers and a guy who can't get beyond country? I mean, Lauren and Haley aren't anywhere near up to the level of previous Idol finalists. I love Scotty, but he's really a one-trick pony.

James? James is the bomb. James can sing anything. He's got stage presence to die for. He takes risks, he generates energy ... he's the rightful American Idol, 2011.

The only thing I can think of (and it makes me sick) is that he's just too, well, un-American for Idol. Scotty did an atrocious song this week about Jesus (I don't know anything about Iraq, but I know Jesus ... Jesus. So we celebrate religious morons?) But the Jesus thing seems to work. And Lauren talked about the floods in the south. And somebody must like the bubblegum-teeny-torch-song-I'm-smiling-till-my-face-breaks shit that is Haley.

Even Vivian, who generally only likes girl singers, was shocked when it happened. "America has spoken," says Seacrest, and Viv looks over at me and says, "I hate America."

I think I'm done. I don't think I'm going to watch any more. What a stupid show. What a stupid country.