American Idol: Boooring

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Damn -- is she our next American Idol?

We're now into the post-James endgame, and as I predicted, things have gone way downhill. Frankly, none of the three finalists deserves to win. At this point, the whole thing is a sham. But we soldier on, slogging through a two-hour special featuring Steven in some sort of tight gold pants and Beyonce's new music video. Beyonce also gets cameo shot hugging each contestant. (I could live with that. Beyonce's way hotter than J-Lo. Just is. Just saying.)

On to the action, such as it was. Three songs apiece -- the contestant picks one, Jimmy picks one and the judges pick one. Scotty goes with "Amazed." Easy song for him, nothing to it. Lauren does Faith Hill; whatever. She looked like Glynda the Good Witch of the North in a light blue dress.

But Haley -- man, Led Zeppelin on Idol? A tough song, too. And she actually pulled it off. And her dad played guitar, and the guy can play. Hit of the night.

Jimmy's picks? Meah. All easy, all right in the lumberyard. I kinda liked Haley doing Fleetwood Mac, but what's up with the artificial breeze blowing on her face? (Oh, right -- "Rhiannon" has a line about "taken by the wind." So they have to have wind. Along with, once again, artificial smoke on the ground. This is a huge enterprise with hundreds of millions of dollars involved; is that the best production these folks can do?

The judges asked Scotty to do "She Believes in Me," and they all loved it, but I cringed when he tried to hit the notes in the chorus. Not his thing. Sounded like Bob Dylan on roofies. Lauren? "I Hope You Dance?" Sure, she can sing like a 16-year-old at a high school graduation, and she's got some talent, but a national stage? Nope.

Haley. Alanis Morissette. Nice choice for her, good job, she's actually peaking at the right moment.

It's odd -- Haley got rejected the first time she tried out, was in the bottom three a couple of times -- and now is the only contestant who might even a little tiny bit be worthy of the title. I've never particularly liked her, but she's at least showing up in the final days.

Viv and Michael think Lauren makes the final. I think it's Haley and Scotty. Scotty's the only guy left, he's cute, he's country (although that's all he is), he loves Jesus ... America's not sending him home.

And I hate to say it, but I'll be glad when this is over and I can get back to watching the Giants games on Wednesday night.