The procrastinator’s Treasure Island Music Festival to-do list

Dear HAIM: Can we BFFs?

From snatching that perfect pair of tolerably uncomfortable shoes to sourcing stamina-inducing party favors, pre-music festival preparations are key.

Unfortunately I’m a procrastinator to the highest degree  — a gal who thrives on the thrill of a deadline and thereby ends up highly caffeinated on Saturday morning, buzzing between projects: weaving flower crowns with foliage from the backyard, trying on all my bras in search of the one that will best cozy my flask, baking sugary snacks that minimize long line-induced irritation, taking shots, doing lunges, and yelping with excitement.

I am also a big fan of the to-do list. And since the Treasure Island Music Festival is a personal favorite fully laced with woozy, mushy memories, I’m getting a few-day head start on this year’s to-do list to make sure the fest goes swimmingly. (Treasure Island Music Festival takes place this Sat/19-Sun/20.

My Treasure Island To-Do List

1. Cool it — I ain’t makin’ no schedule.

Treasure Island is the perfect babysitter for indecisive music-lovers. I’m gonna shuffle between stages, passing beer tents and high-fiving neighbors, co-workers, and awkward exes along the way. I’m confident in my ability to mosey into just the right kind of trouble.

2. Valet that bike — make someone else worry about parking.

No lock means I can save the room in the mini backpack for a burrito (aka tallboy wrapped in a tortilla).

3. Booze on the way — duh.

Whisky pulls during the 15-minute bus ride make for happy islanders.  

4. Sail away — time to flirt starboard side.

People have boats. Companies are chartering boats. All I’m saying is that there are boat rides to be had. There’s also rumor that one of said vessels will have the boys of Lord Huron on deck. Time to swoon in my stripes.

5. Show up early — fashionably late isn’t fashionable.

I always foolishly take my damn time and land on the island mid-afternoon, sorta sour and wishing I had just packed a bag brunch and picnicked on the grass. Quit pretending like there are better things to do — it’s an island, with music, and sunshine. Done.

6. Pack smart — not light.

Is that sandwich too heavy? Is that trail mix hurting my back? No it’s not because it’s in my belly and I’m happy. The food on site provides a nice array of local fare, but there’s no rule against brining some of your own treats, too.

7. Convince the HAIM sisters to be my bffs — get crafty.

I sincerely think we’d make great friends. We could braid each other’s long locks, listen to records while drinking milkshakes, and swap leather jackets. The plan: make friendship bracelets these girls can’t refuse. Camp DIY will have all the supplies and badass crafter, Kelly Malone of Workshop SF will be on island to make sure things are just as charming as they are rock and roll.
8. Track down the balloon chain guy. Just because.

9. Be sunset ready — no bathroom line or trinket shopping during the ball drop.

The sun will set at approximately 6:25 both evenings, meaning I’ll be feeling some sky love during Major Lazer’s set Saturday and James Blake come Sunday. Take a puff and make a thoughtful toast to that beautiful Bay called home.

10. Make-out on the 60-foot Century Ferris Wheel — no excuses.

11. Watch Nelson Loskamp cut people’s hair…from afar.

He tapes you down, covers your eyes and mouth, and sonically hacks at your hair with sound-wired scissors. I don’t understand what this means but I’m terrified and beyond curious.
12. Throw down — then stretch.

“When a fire starts to burn, right? And starts to spread? She gonna bring that attitude to halt…”

13. Get weird with strangers — we’re all smashed together anyway.  

A few dirty lyrics, pulsing bass, and silky voices — acts like Antwon and Little Dragon could encourage a few folks to get fresh. I’ll be sure to provide encouragement.

14. Be observant — and/or some light stalking.

Where or where will the Atoms For Peace crew be hanging out post show? How about Animal Collective? Beck? I probably wouldn’t be able to speak if I find them, but I’m not ashamed to drool in their presence.

15. Solid prep — Monday is for recovery.

Start that fake cough on Friday in order to avoid all work, responsibilities, and obligations come Monday. Sleigh Bells is sure to have me wrecked and amped for hooky. 

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