By Jimmy Draper

PROVING HANDS DOWN that he's the most secure punk rocka papa on the block, Gene Defcon has no qualms about admitting that his first musical recollection is of hearing MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This" on the radio. Blame it on his rural upbringing if you must, but don't fault him for missing out on the Pixies, the Smiths, and Paula Abdul. After all, Defcon was a man of the land, a wild child of the Lone Star State who fine-tuned his musical know-how by performing "on the porch for my family and cousins."

Listening to his Southern drawl and his hilarious tales of hunting and backyard banjo sessions, however, it's difficult to reconcile such a wholesome childhood with his current hot-to-trot lifestyle. Since arriving in Olympia, Wash., he's replaced the family with a circle of fashionably fab friends and traded in the front porch hoedowns for some ol' fashioned hetero-a-go-go rock-n-pop. Enlisting the local riffraff in his quest for some skin and sin, Defcon welcomed aboard Jon, Nickelodeon, Audrey, and sisters Maggie and Tobi: Gene Defcon – the band, the hero – was born. And unlike his hands-off introduction to the world of pop à la MC Hammer, Defcon wants you to cop a feel.

Bay Guardian: Your songs are all about the party life, so first off – sex, drugs, or rock and roll?

Gene Defcon: That's a tough one. I believe all are equally crucial in enjoying a party situation properly. I believe that even at a kinky underground sex party, it's best to be really high and listening to appropriate music to get you feeling sexeriffic!

BG: And what, exactly, makes a great party?

GD: Well, Jimmy, I would say the five B's: boobs, beer, boners, big sheets of acid, bonfires, and bass!

BG: So what do you do when you aren't the life of the party?

GD: Well, I guess what I would do in that situation is read a book or watch a television program on the Lifetime network. I also might go for a walk down to the pier and write some poetry or a journal entry. Again, this is all theoretical, but I was thinking that's probably what happened to Otis Redding when he wrote "Dock of the Bay."

BG: Your lyrics to "Baby Hallelujah" sound peculiarly similar to butt-rock anthems with a fascination for barely legal girls. Do you have an affinity for Aerosmith?

GD: Well, hell, everyone loves Aerosmith. I mean, they're like ZZ Top for nerds, but that's better than no ZZ Top at all, I guess. What's wrong with barely legal young women? I am a feminist, and I believe that all women are equal. Barely legal or barely living – they all have a right to party down at a Gene Defcon show. I just hope they have a good time.

BG: You're often compared to the Prima Donnas, who are also Olympians now. Were you friends with them when you all lived in Texas?

GD: Oh yeah, great bunch of guys, great friends. Love hanging out with those guys. Just good people.

BG: Do you think that accusations that you're ripping them off are fair?

GD: We get along great with those guys. I really can't say enough nice things about them. I wouldn't say we are ripping them off, though. They like to party, sure, but you know, it's like, they are a great bunch of guys, and I really am happy to know them.

BG: How often do you perform for your adoring public?

GD: Whenever there is a party, we will be there, because if we aren't there, then it isn't really a party, is it?

BG: And now you even use backup singers. What's the criteria for being a member of the Gene Defcon experience?

GD: Well, I make the girls turn around and then stand on their tippy toes with their arms raised. There's no real guidelines, I just take each case as it comes. You don't have to sing like Celine Dion or look like Dolly Parton, but somewhere in the middle suits me just fine. Mostly you just got to have the right attitude. If you party like it's 1999, then you're no good to me.

BG: So does Gene Defcon have a musical mission?

GD: Well, we aren't Mormons or nothing if that's what you're getting at. Upcoming Gene Defcon releases 7-inch single on Lookout, 7-inch single and Come Party with Me album on K.

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