By Charlie Amter

Dynasty

WHAT IS A song's primary reason for being? To seduce? To entertain? To emotionally resonate? To sell? A great song, like love, is its own reason for being. People spend an insane amount of time obsessing about songs. Of all the things people freely admit to loving, songs are right up there with Jesus, movies, and moms. "I'm in love / With that song" is the refrain of a great Replacements song, and music fans worldwide usually connect with an artist via a song. The song is the kiss that starts the relationship – and sometimes that first kiss is electric. I had a relationship going with Prince long before "Kiss" came out in 1986, but that's another story. Like a good kiss, you remember your first time. My relationship with Prince didn't start with "Kiss," but I certainly remember the first time I heard it. I wanted it to last forever.

You don't have to be beautiful / To turn me on

That's how the greatest Prince song ever written starts out. Sung slightly off-key in his trademark falsetto, it was a bold declaration of his new power sexuality. Honest, vulnerable, and sexy: from the moment the treated acoustic guitars drop, and Prince lays on the thick and cheesy vocals, you know "Kiss" is a song to be reckoned with. Spending more than four weeks at no. 1 in 1986, it remains the second biggest hit of his 20-plus year career. Bigger than "Purple Rain," bigger than "Little Red Corvette," bigger than "1999." The only Prince song that rivals "Kiss" in terms of sales is 1984's "When Doves Cry." Curiously, "When Doves Cry" shares something with "Kiss" that is unique – and quite possibly the secret to both songs' endurance over time.

I want to be your fantasy / Maybe you can be mine

It is what's missing from "Kiss" and "When Doves Cry" that gives both songs their character. Both were completed in the studio with bass lines, only to have the bass yanked before release by the artist formerly known as the artist formerly known as Prince. Imagine "Kiss" with a bass line and the song immediately becomes average. Without a bass line to follow, the listener is immediately connected to the stripped-down R&B of this light and flirtatious romp. It's decidedly feminine, and all attention is focused on the careful cadence of the guitar lines and shuffling rhythms. It's the sparseness, the space between the notes that is so deftly employed on "Kiss." The entire song is a gentle and playful dare, and an erotic one at that. "Kiss" is the ultimate seduction of the listener. It draws you in, engages you, takes you to a climax – then releases you slowly. Prince has his way with you for 3 minutes and 38 seconds, and admit it, it feels pretty good.

Act your age mama / Not your shoe size

Attitude goes a long way in a song. Prince had it in spades in '86, and women and men alike thrilled to his fierce declarations of lust sung in the most high-pitched of falsettos – with a few guttural male grunts thrown in for good measure. Lines like "Act your age mama / Not your shoe size" carry just enough misogyny to please insecure men, but most of the song uses flirtation language to appeal to a feminine understanding of foreplay. Some have suggested that Prince's "Kiss" persona was the artist's apology to women who felt that the Purple Rain-era Prince was sexist. In the video for "Kiss," there is no mistaking Prince as the sex object as he prances about half-naked in high heels.

Women not girls / Rule my world

Ask any DJ what happens when "Kiss" is played, and the answer will undeniably be some variation of "the women go nuts"; "Women not girls / Rule my world" is the song's raison d'être, and naturally, women love Prince's worldview. And no one does subtle funk in a pop music context better: with a sound built on a standard 12-bar blues progression, the song immediately sounds familiar. Slowed down and stripped bare, the effect is that of a slow grind gone mad. You can definitely dance to it, and countless listeners have done more than dance to "Kiss."

Ain't no particular sign / I'm more compatible with

The Gemini in Prince is in rare form toward the end of "Kiss." After the obligatory key change near the song's climax, the purple one gets all excited in a showy display of orgasmic vocal stylings that is distinctly Prince. From a begging whisper at the beginning of the song to a screaming demand for sex at the end, Prince's outrageous duality is in full effect. Someone once told me Geminis are the best lovers in the Zodiac because you are always sleeping with two people. Listen to "Kiss" and tell me there aren't at least two different personalities struggling to come across in the span of three minutes.

I just want your extra time and your ...

"Kiss" almost never saw the light of day. Like one of his other biggest hits, "Nothing Compares 2U," it was originally written for someone else (the Minneapolis funk group Mazarati). Thank god Prince didn't let this one get away from him. Added as an afterthought to Parade, the song has become one of his most beloved. It reestablished him as a serious contender in the music industry after the lackluster sales of Around the World in a Day. More importantly, however, "Kiss" reunited Prince with fans worldwide. The song was more than a throwaway. It was, and is, an instant classic guaranteed recurrent airplay for years to come. It sounds as fresh today as it did in 1986, and that is no small feat. The erotic trance that is "Kiss" is still going strong, and I still don't want it to end.

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