Except we're not mean drunks who hurl offensive slurs at the cops when they pull us over...

Nor are we holding up the production of our latest major motion picture with our underage shenanigans ...

We were, however, enticed into some unfortunate wedding reception dance-floor antics after tipping back multiple pints of the charmingly-named Polygamy Porter (pretty tasty, actually) during our recent visit to Salt Lake City. And by "we" I mean me. No use denying it. Photos were taken. How Star of me.