Television: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems

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Holy crap, dude. I think my eyeballs are bleeding.

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For the full selection of Dancing with the Stars contestants, including Tucker Carlson (sans bowtie -- hey, how's his head stayin' on?), go to ohnotheydidnt via the glorious Dlisted. Be warned: the new season starts Sept 12. Cha-cha-cha!

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