The unholiest of holy days

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Miniature candy bars before breakfast, random spashes of fake blood on my Converse, death threats, Misfits on the iPod, Freddy Krueger watch on my wrist ... could be any other Tuesday in my life, really. But hot damn, y'all, it's Halloween!! BOO-ya!

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So, I was up late last night chattin' with Captain Howdy about some of the reasons for the season. The good Cap'n suggested I post some Oct 31-friendly links for your enjoyment. In the interest of keeping my soul out of Pazuzu's clutches, for the time being anyway, I thought I'd better comply.

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Just the place to spend a haunted honeymoon: the Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast in Fall River, MA! You can stay in the room where Lizzie's stepmother Abby (almost) lost her head. Don't forget your axe or your ever-changing alibi.

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Fans of the dead and undead, check out Find a Grave (fairly tasteful) and Find a Death (deliciously tacky -- go there now and the top image is the Grim Reaper visiting the Menendez house. Perfection).

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Unsettlingly complete Charles Manson resource page. Includes directions to the murder sites, plus the location of the former Spahn Ranch. (A great Manson book, if you're pooped out on Helter Skelter and Garbage People and maybe even The Family, is Adam Gorightly's The Shadow Over Santa Susana: Black Magic, Mind Control, and the "Manson Family" Mythos.)

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Do yourself a favor and pick up Nate Denver's new book and CD, Wait, You're Not a Centaur (La Mano) -- available from Aquarius Records. (Search on "Nate Denver" since there's no direct link to his page.) Tom Araya of Slayer gets blurbed: "I hate this book!" And you will hate it too, except you will actually love it with the passion you normally reserve for Twix, ice cream, and tyrannical stuffed animals.

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Hey sinners, get your own Hell House Outreach Kit here! (Of special interest, "Mother's Womb Abortion Scene," "Rave Club Scene," and the "Gay Wedding Scene:" "This energetic scene will give you another powerful weapon in your arsenal against the homosexual stronghold and the born-gay deception." Yeesh.) Or, once you've finished mocking the hatemongers, watch the excellent and non-zealot-fueled 2001 documentary.

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Hieronymus Bosch is my homeboy.

And finally, from the good folks at Snopes -- where urban legends go to die -- the "Horrors" and "Halloween" pages are stuffed with more delights than a razor-laced Snickers bar. Don't forget to lock up your black cat tonight ... and the Captain says don't even THINK about looking for parking in the Castro, even if the power of Christ compels you to try.

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Happy haunting, kids!

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