By Molly Freedenberg
Some scientists try to cure cancer. Some build robots that vacuum our houses for us. But the really important scientists are the ones developing new beverages for upscale clients. Like p.i.n.k., a vodka that has caffeine and guarana already in it so you don’t have to mix it with cloying, syrupy, expensive Red Bull. Superfluous? Or brilliant? Can’t it be both? I’m sure you’re just dying to know…
See? p.i.n.k. is s.w.a.n.k. (Apparently, the name is an acronym for the distilling process, which is a ginormous company secret.)
So a colleague and I taste tested “the world’s perfect party spirit” on a recent night out, though I doubt we did it the way we were intended to. After all, this is high end vodka in a specially designed frosted glass container, probably meant for Hollywood starlets and upscale at-home cosmo drinkers and queer partiers (in fact, p.i.n.k. is sponsoring a major dance event during Pride this year, which makes sense, says fellow editor Marke B., since there is nothing not gay about the phrase “pink caffeinated vodka.”) But my colleague and I are punk/liberal/metal/alterna-geeks. So we poured our p.i.n.k. into plastic bottles of organic cranberry cocktail and smuggled them into the Roxie to see Richard Elfman’s The Forbidden Zone.
Yup, that’s right. The best, geekiest cult moment ever – including having drinks with the Elfman (yes, it’s Danny’s brother), his wife, and the distributors of his DVD before sitting behind them during the film – combined with a spirit described on its website as “fashionable” and “elegant” and most likely meant for all-night dance parties where Paul Oakenfold is spinning. (Non-p.i.n.k.-related sidenote: Oh my god oh my god oh my god the movie is just as weird and wonderful as I remember it. And the Elfmans were awesome.)
How cool is this? Richard fucking Elfman and the Guardian girls
So what’d we think of p.i.n.k.? For starters, sipped straight, it tastes like any other high-end vodka – perhaps a bit on the sweet side – which is why we decided to mix it with cranberry. As for its stimulant effects…both of us drank throughout the midnight movie. And when the Elfman entourage (who had no p.i.n.k., by the way) was ready to go home, we were closed down the 500 Club. Then it took several hours, a chicken and artichoke heart salad, and some chili cheese fries to get me to sleep. Which sounds a lot like a night fueled by Red Bull and Vodka.
But would I recommend it? My partner in crime wasn’t a huge fan. But I think the stuff gets the job done. Plus, it inspires me to say its name like this: “pee, period, eye, period, enn, period, kay, period.” And that’s just kind of fun … particularly at six a.m. when I’m trying to sleep off the caffeinated cocktails I made last night.
Btw...I don't think you can buy p.i.n.k. in Bay Area stores yet, but you can order it at Double Dutch, The Ambassador, Club NV, Rouge, City Nights, Dirty Martini, Swirl, John Walker, Metro City, and The Lexington Club.
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