Strap on your helmet and strip down to your skin— it’s time to ride bikes in the buff. San Francisco regularly participates in the ‘Northern Hemisphere’ World Naked Bike Ride each summer, but Saturday (3/13) marks the city’s first inclusion in the Southern Hemisphere’s jaunt. Spring or summer, the ride aims to expose the dangers bicyclists and pedestrians face in a car-dominated culture and to protest against “indecent exposure to vehicle emissions.”
Bay Area bicyclists will join pedaling nudes in Sydney, Cape Town, Lima, and other Southern parts of the globe this weekend, flashing their junk on two wheels for a “critical mass with a lenient dress code.” The crowd will cruise from Justin Herman Plaza to Golden Gate Park, stopping at City Hall for a photo shoot. Because this is the virgin spring fling, the group may be small, but definitely not shy.
Interested in joining but feeling a little insecure about disrobing? Here a few tit-bits of advice from bare-skinned veteran, George Davis.
1. Wear sunscreen— sunburned genitalia isn’t sexy or fun.
2. Wear a bike helmet; decorate it and the rest of your exposed self.
3. Think of your unclothed body as freedom from speed-slowing textiles.
4. Revel in the thumbs up from police and bask in the rock star status you'll receive while cruising through Fisherman’s Wharf.
5. You are “natural gas powered”— to hell with oil dependency.
And a few more sensitive items to consider:
1. Shoes are good. Pedals are rough on bare toes.
2. Smile! People may photograph you. Be proud and confident. Slouching is never flattering.
3. If you’re hesitant about putting your pussy on the seat or getting your long schlong caught in the chain, wear some cute undies.
4. Children are allowed— non-sexualized nudity is not harmful to young eyes.
5. Worried you’re not ‘hot enough’ to bare all? Damn Gina, everyone looks good when they’re riding green.
Southern Hemisphere Naked Bike Ride
Meet at Justin Herman Plaza, just North of the huge fountain with all the cubic shapes
(Market and Steuart)
Most Commented On
- Small Business Awards 2013: La Victoria Bakery - July 31, 2014
- But work orders are legitimate - July 31, 2014
- Nowhere in there do I see specific examples of new SF - July 31, 2014
- Projections - July 31, 2014
- Lil B's career trajectory is reminiscent of S.mouse - July 31, 2014
- DRomGYCrHe - July 31, 2014
- Barbie gets a makeover, San Francisco-style - July 31, 2014
- Police radio dispatch from Alejandro Nieto shooting raises new - July 31, 2014
- Oh please. Go carebear - July 31, 2014
- I supported Mirkarimi keeping his job - July 31, 2014