Each day, our editors pick five (or so) things that might interest you
>>OSCAR AND ANN L.A. performance artist-sitcom regular Ann Magnuson is one of our favorite people ever (ask her about crashing in our tent at Burning Man). Sure she's pretty famous, she ruled '80s downtown New York, and she is, in fact, the Power of Pussy. But she's funniest when she's just straight-up laying down some home truths. Here's her viral Oscar rant and here's the film she should have won an Oscar for:
>>BUT STILL, MILA'S DRESS WASN'T ENOUGH TO SOOTHE OUR RANDY NEWMAN-INDUCED RAGE Return to a time when Hollywood rewarded more glamor, less non-threatening paunch -- the Balboa Theatre is turning 81 this year, which means it was born the same year as Marilyn Monroe, Hugh Hefner, Harry Dean Stanton, and Cloris Leachman (to name just a few -- 1926 was a very good year!) Of course, it was a tragic year too: silent-film hunk Rudolph Valentino died at the age of 31. This year's Balboa birthday bash (March 6, 7 p.m., $10) pays tribute to the original Italian Stallion with a screening of his 1922 high-seas adventure Moran of the Lady Letty, which was filmed right here in San Francisco and Tiburon. Swoon! Frederick Hodges performs an original score to go with the film, plus there'll be a magic lantern slides, short films, a live vaudeville show, talks by Valentino experts, and birthday cake for all. www.balboamovies.com.
>>GET YOUR CARNAVAL ON Controversial, yet totally back up-able stance: Carnaval blows most other SF parades outta the grandstand. Sequined spandex, dope Latin beats, and way less corporate involvement than say, the SOUTHWEST AIRLINES Chinese New Year Parade, plus it's in the Mission – how funky can you really get surrounded by the evil towers of the Financial District? Mission Cultural Center's putting out the call for dancers in its parade contingent this year, so for anyone who is looking for a little workout, and a whole lot more sabor in their lives, sign up for the bi-week rehearsals to strut the streets as part of the center's Pre-Colombian-style festivating at the May 29th parade. Email firstname.lastname@example.org or call (415) 821-1155 to make it happen.
>>IT'S EARLY, BITCH Britney's coming to the Castro for an a.m. appearance on "Good Morning America" at which throngs of sleep-deprived acolytes will vie to supply her with Hot Cookies and Seconals.
>>THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE SMALL HOME Frigid temps making your flat seem like barren, fossil fuel-sucking tundra? Heard. Would that we all had a small home, whose energy-efficient ways are ever-so-in-right-now – and beyond adorable. Look at them!
Contibutors: Cheryl Eddy, Caitlin Donohue, and Marke B.