Come on, folks.

Tiger woods just made international news with a 15-minute press conference in which he ... apologized to his wife. Oh dear me, I'm so bad, I've let the whole world down, won't you ever forgive me, I need more treatement, I need more therapy, please oh please I'm an awful human being but I'm trying to win back your respect ...

Ladies and Gentlemen of the press: Tiger Woods didn't kill anyone. He didn't run over a child, or beat up a nun, or stab someone to death in a drunken bar fight. He didn't steal money, or bankrupt the United States financial system. His dick just isn't that important.

And Tiger, dude, get a grip: You cheated on your wife. You had affairs. I'm not condoning it, but Jesus: If every prominent person in the world who was unfaithful to his or her spouse had to take six months off, go into seclusion and act like a little spoiled baby, the world would come to a halt and nothing would ever get done.

Man up, Mr. Woods. The Masters starts in a month and a half. Quit whining and get back to work.