Corporate vampires drink your blood


The same week that Warren Buffett gave an anemic Bank of America a $5 billion transfusion of capital, a score of protesters in downtown San Francisco said they know why the economy still sucks: corporate greed.

Demonstrators from US Uncut held a “corporate vampires for the empire” blood drive in front of several of Market Street’s most prominent storefronts August 27, pointing out corporations that haven’t paid their fair share of taxes.

“We have taken your money. We have taken your houses – now we want your blood!” cried out Vlad the Impaler in front of a Bank of America branch on Market street.

“No more, please no more,” his victim begged, a mock blood transfusion bag attached to her neck.

“More blood, more, you can give more!” laughed a jovial Vlad.

The victim fell to the sidewalk after giving her last ounce of blood to Bank of America.

According to US Uncut, Bank of America, despite having $2.2 trillion in assets, pays less in taxes than an average American household.

“Corporate tax evaders have no shame, they are sucking the economic vitality out of our country,” said protester and vampire hunter Bill Schwalb, who was quick to say he was in no way related to Charlies Schwab.

A crowd on lower Market drew its own picture of the American economy as a pair of women with shopping bags passed by in one direction and a homeless man with a bed roll passed the other way, both stopping a moment to observe the mock blood drive.

Pre-positioned victims at the Apple Store, Wells Fargo, FedEx, and Verizon were bitten and bled dry while waiting in line, to the shock and amusement of customers, while outside the blood donors were administered to by vampire nurses.

“Tax evasion, though vilified by the truthmongers of the left, is as American as apple pie. It's an orgy of greed and blood lust,” Vlad told a crowd of bystanders who had stopped to gawk at the spectacle.
While the pantomime was funny, the issue is not. The group said the companies they targeted represented the worst of the worst of corporate tax dodgers. Together they represent billions of dollars in lost tax revenue – losses that are translating into service cuts to societies most vulnerable.

“No wonder we’re broke, all these corporations not paying their taxes,” exclaimed an irate passer-by in front of the Apple Store after listening to the group.


If any of you who pulled off this excellent protest are reading this, please take a request.

In your next protest or news release, please -connect- the bail outs and rip offs of the big banks and corporations to the -local- drastic austerity measures and pay, benefits and social service cuts being foisted on the working class and underclasses.

For example, there are two drastic measures on our San Francisco November ballot gauging city workers on their pension benefits, one of which will also gauge health benefits. And the only revenue measure on that ballot is a regressive sales tax.

So, in any community where you are protesting and/or talking to the media, please uncover the austerity measures and attacks on workers that are happening and make a clear connection between these, the corporate bail outs, and the wars.


Posted by Eric Brooks on Aug. 29, 2011 @ 1:13 pm

The protest should be against bailouts, capitalism, racism, free trade, workers' rights, civil rights, equal rights, immigrants' rights, saving whales redwoods and the condor, inequality, big business, landlords and, oh I don't know, the Tea Party?

Every protest should be against everything because all our brothers and sisters are engaged in a battle for nothing less than the destruction of the human race.

Oh wait, I bored myself.

Posted by PaulT on Aug. 29, 2011 @ 2:21 pm

The group does talk about local cuts as their last action tied the amount that Apple is trying to dodge to teacher layoffs. If you have ideas for actions and specifics about local cuts, let them know. You can find them at Post your thoughts, but more importantly - hit the streets and get active about issues that are affecting you and the public.

Posted by Guest on Aug. 29, 2011 @ 3:59 pm

teacher layoffs? How the hell do you make that tenuous connection?

Posted by PaulT on Aug. 29, 2011 @ 4:14 pm

"there are two drastic measures on our San Francisco November ballot gauging city workers on their pension benefits."

I know you meant to say "gouge", not "gauge", but these measures are merely asking public workers to pay some of their own pension costs. They are a first step toward fiscal health in San Francisco.

I pay $400 a month for health insurance. City workers pay $0 because people like me are paying your bill.

Posted by Barton on Aug. 30, 2011 @ 6:55 am

according to SPUR (pension costs were $200 million a year in 2009). How pathetic are the people demonizing Adachi and would say his Prop D "gouges" anyone? Prop D generates approx $1.6 billion in general fund savings to better protect City services and is less than 25% of these staggering costs...Jeez, wake up people.

Posted by Guest on Aug. 30, 2011 @ 10:24 am

But you have to start somewhere, and it's probably the most we can pass and get in one election.

The majority of voters are tired of seeing city employees getting these sweetheart pension and health benefit deals, while they are struggling to afford their own let alone pay for theirs as well.

It's an idea sweeping the nation and the world. Hardly a local issue at all. More a global inevitability.

Posted by Guest on Aug. 30, 2011 @ 10:53 am

The point Barton, is that instead of raising fees to city workers for health care, we should be lowering your health care costs to zero as well.

Same with pensions. Instead of city workers getting less, you should get as much as they do.

Why do you want to fight against fellow wage earners, instead of fighting against elite capitalists who make far more than either you, or those city workers do?

Maybe you should read the book "What's the Matter With Kansas" so you can get some perspective on who the real enemy is.

Posted by Eric Brooks on Aug. 30, 2011 @ 11:46 pm

that is a very, very long term (and totally unrealistic) goal and this is a very near term problem.

the union members are not looking out for everyone else, why should we be looking out for them?

Posted by mc on Sep. 06, 2011 @ 10:02 pm

"that is a very, very long" = useless TROLL bs attack

Posted by vigilante on Sep. 06, 2011 @ 10:25 pm

Eric is absolutely right. In the last few years, conservative groups have concluded that "the time has come for conservatives to turn their attention to the cities.” That's a direct quote by Steven Hayward of the Pacific Research Institute (PRI). Conservative think tanks like PRI, The Reason Foundation, The State Policy Network, Americans for Tax Reform, etc., share similar aims. The right-wing agenda is to undermine public sector unions, repeal living wage ordinances and local hire programs, and downsize government (privatize services). They are the force behind the "pension reform" measures in cities across this state and in states across this nation. The word "corporate vampires" is apt, since there is an incestuous relationship between the corporate world and conservative groups and think tanks. These vampires are subverting our democracy. And they are doing it by bringing their national agenda down to the local level. If we care about saving our cities, it is incumbent upon us to all of us to educate ourselves about these groups and fight back before it's too late. Here's a good primer to get you started~

Posted by Lisa on Aug. 29, 2011 @ 6:17 pm

Asking for the anti-corporate vampire equivalent of Buffy the Vampire Slayer is not trivializing the important issues raised by US Uncut. Instead, it's a reminder that we the people need not be helpless in the face of corporate greed...but that it is possible and necessary to fight back.

Posted by Peter on Aug. 30, 2011 @ 8:17 am

"They" are against me and I am against them. "They" are Republicans, Democrats, Free loaders on the left and greedy vampires on the right. I am tired of paying for them both.
It's time for a new system of moderates to take over.

Posted by Guest on Sep. 03, 2011 @ 7:34 am

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