SF sucks. More machines will fix it. Really.

Horrors -- a bicyclist with his hand out! Phasers on stun!

How many ways is this video by the tech flackery sf.citi really embrassing and whiny? Let's start:

Gee -- San Francisco is just horrible. There are mean bicyclists, slow buses, trash on the streets -- and you can't even get a cab to take your hot date home to her place in the Sunset, even though she has a phone and can call a cab if she wants to. It's seven square miles -- which is "adorable" -- seriously, "adorable" -- but we don't want to walk anywhere because ow, that would hurt our poor little feet. Come on -- we only do our walking in the gym, on a machine.

But wait: Our brilliant technorati could solve the problem of not having enough cabs by moving colored dots around on a Muni map! So you can see the cab that isn't there! Or you could consider actually riding Muni, and use that smart phone to check nextbus, which works really well already -- although it doesn't have any info about boats, which is going to be really helpful if you're going to the Sunset where you might actually get laid if you were man enough to find a cab by sticking your hand out. (Just be sure you don't stick out more than your hand or Scott Wiener will get you.)

Oh, and those crazy, rotten vegans who scrawl tags on the walls? Use Twitter to get rid of them! Stuck getting your email in a laundramat? Poor you -- the place needs citywide wifi! Even though everyone gets email on a phone these days. No problem -- our tech wizards can transform all the old phone booths into Wifi hotspots (except: which phone booths are those and where are they?)

Now, there's always a chance that you're a Spanish-speaking resident of the Mission who is tired of all the hipsters who have invaded your neighborhood and are driving up rents and forcing your family to leave town. Sorry -- there's nothing we can do about that.

So everyone should vote Yes on E, so the tech companies that hire a lot of people but don't make any money can avoid paying taxes.

That's what sf.citi is saying. Literally.

Please, people, please, please: Don't you realize this is a city, a really cool city that, like all cities today, has its social problems, most of which will never be solved by social media? There is no magical tech solution to homelessness and poverty; in fact, the tech boom is only making those problems worse. Most of the worst urban problems in San Francisco are related to a lack of money -- something that's made worse by tax breaks for tech companies. 

I'm not saying we shouldn't try to make the city better, and that there aren't some fairly simple steps that could help with fairly simple problems. But when you came here, you didn't move to magic-land. This city isn't Farmville; it's an actual place with people who've lived here a long time who have been struggling with a lot of things (like crime and a lack of affordable housing) that citi.sf doesn't seem interested in.

So this snappy little video comes off as elitist, puerile, and uninformed. (Oh, and that part about the Mission and the hipsters is really disturbing, on a lot of levels that these folks don't seem to comprehend.)

Delete. Start over. And think this time.





@Chard - She's using the SFCargoBikeShare app. By a remarkable coincidence, I was working there that night, so I showed up on a Yuba Mundo was cushy seats and spirited her away from the Marina dude.

I had to bike rage a bit on the way home, natch.

Posted by Jym Dyer on Oct. 10, 2012 @ 6:06 pm

...I'm with Tim ...what complete utter bullshit..

Posted by Guest on Oct. 10, 2012 @ 12:58 pm

for writing that. Also, maybe take a look at how Twitter is affecting local businesses near their offices. Has anyone lost a lease? Also, can you start an SFBG request line?

Posted by Deborah Giattina on Oct. 10, 2012 @ 2:34 pm

fantastic issues altogether, you simply gained a new reader.
What may you suggest about your submit that you just made
a few days ago? Any certain?

Posted by penis extender on Dec. 28, 2012 @ 11:22 pm

≎ Is there anything Twitter can't do? Wait, I don't see any of these apps doing anything about Biker Rage, what a ripoff.

I'm not inclined to agree that Muni shelters, powered with city electricity, ought to help people find taxicabs that compete with Muni. Besides, those new shelters we were gifted with already have NextBus and free wifi -- just as soon as ClearChannel gets around to hooking them up.

Posted by Jym Dyer on Oct. 10, 2012 @ 6:21 pm

There ARE mean cyclists (Just last July, an SF cyclist was accused of killing a pedestrian!), BART should be open 24/7, it shouldn't take you one whole hour to find an available cab on Market Street and I saw poop on my street the other day.

I saw a major tech company offering their own improvements to significant urban problems and, yes, banking on it...'cause that's what they do. It's a business, not a non-profit; don't get it twisted, nerds!

Posted by Eva on Oct. 11, 2012 @ 11:19 am

Forgot to mention that I'm not necessarily agreeing with Prop E. I'm just saying that that's what major tech companies do: offer services for money or tax breaks or whateva'...why is that a shock to anyone?

Posted by Eva on Oct. 11, 2012 @ 11:41 am

Your post perfectly encapsulates the problem with this video, and the cluelessness of those who made it and can't see what's wrong with it.

"There ARE mean cyclists (Just last July, an SF cyclist was accused of killing a pedestrian!), BART should be open 24/7, it shouldn't take you one whole hour to find an available cab on Market Street and I saw poop on my street the other day."

Yeah, well ...
1. There are mean drivers too, and mean pedestrians, and sure as hell mean tech company CEOs. Guess what? There are mean people in this world. Deal with it. Fortunately mean cyclists don't have power over your life, unlike mean CEOs.
2. It would be nice if BART ran 24/7, but unfortunately that's not feasible. I've traveled all over the world, and I haven't encountered many metros that run 24/7, because they tend to require maintenance for at least a few hours a day.
3. Sometimes it's hard to find a cab. Oh well. Deal with it.
4. Poop? Oh no! You saw POOP on your street?!? Call the police! Call your supervisor! Something MUST be done about this MAJOR urban problem.

With all due respect, Eva, if these are what you consider "significant urban problems," then you lead a very privileged and sheltered life. You want to know what significant urban problems are? How about poverty, corruption, rising rents and fear of eviction, police brutality? Tell me, is there an "app" for that?

Which brings me to my last point... the clueless and racist segement with the Latina lady. Since you seem to be of the same mindset as the creators of this video, and you obviously don't get it, let me break it down for you.

The problem she was talking about was gentrification -her community is being squeezed out. And what's their answer to her? Basically, "Sorry lady, but you're SOL. And you know what, not only are you SOL, but we really don't care about your problems." What the unseen interviewer doesn't even seem to understand, is that she was telling him that he IS the problem.

The problem is that people like you, and these worshipers of technocapitalism, are too clueless to understand real urban problems, and you wouldn't give a shit even if you did, because real urban problems don't affect people like you.

Posted by Greg on Oct. 14, 2012 @ 12:13 am

What the people moving here from whatever back hole they came from don't realize is that what made the city so great in the first place is being utterly destroyed by the social darwinism that pervades the city's new culture. They haven't improved SF at all. they've stripped it of all its beauty. The lower Haight used to be an awesome edgy neighborhood until gentrification. Now the people who ruined it have moved on and the place is still a grave yard. You're doing to this city what humans do to environments generally. Rape it and leave it for dead.

The part that makes me so sick is they're pretention of cultural awareness and environmental responsibility. Its all lies.

Posted by Slobeck on Oct. 11, 2012 @ 11:47 am

I don't like your comment I have no sense of humor. I'm better than you I have no sense of humor. I've lived here longer I have a bigger penis bitchy bitchy bitchy snippy snappy snippy.

Posted by Guest on Oct. 11, 2012 @ 1:54 pm

It's almost useless talking about SF in 2012. I was born and raised in SF and my memory of it in the 1970s was that it was an infinitely cooler place, and was much cooler still going back the 1920s. Among US cities it is still one of the best but there is practically no comparison with how it used to be.

Posted by Guest on Oct. 11, 2012 @ 1:57 pm

I don't know if people noticed this, but this started with the Mid market tax break, where the new tech companies were required to give back to local non profits. It was just a few months ago that SF Citi had videos where they were trying to make apps to help poor people store food

It looks to me they got some bigger ideas now and they can't stop

Posted by auweia on Oct. 12, 2012 @ 5:23 am

Tech companies don't have all the answers but I have a lot more faith in them than I do the SF political machine. The current solution is a bunch of do nothing politicians and employees (about 30,000 of them) who can't dial in a city with less garbage, fewer murders, better roads, more efficient transport with nearly $6 billion at their disposal.

This city won't ever make any tough decisions. The think everyone should always win,.

It's not working and it never will.

I put more faith in a bunch of innovators who know how to roll up their sleeves and build things versus a political machine that is solely focused on self preservation.

Posted by Guest on Oct. 14, 2012 @ 12:36 am

worse and worse. The funds get sucked into ever more generous health and pensions benefits for the city insiders and bureaucrats, while they come back every year wanting a sales tax hike, a vehicle tax hike, parcel taxes and whatever they can get away with.

We stopped this nonsense once, at the state level, with Prop 13. We need to send that same emssage to the city now - no new taxes, no tax hikes, live within your means and if you want to strip services so you can keep your gold-plated pensions, then take responsbility for that, and stop asking us for more and more.

This country was founded ona tax revolution - never forget that.

Posted by Guest on Oct. 14, 2012 @ 1:15 am

It is 7 miles square. You do the math.

Posted by Guest on Oct. 14, 2012 @ 5:19 am

meant here. The real issue, surely, is that nowhere else in America would we have fiefdoms the way the Bay Area is. Cities like NY, LA, Chicago and Houston have unitary authorities, meaning that extreme factions in small neighborhoods get dismissed, as of course they should be.

The Bay Area is like the Balkans. The lunatics are running the asylum.

Posted by Guest on Oct. 14, 2012 @ 5:47 am

SF is a justover 231 square miles in size...not an "adorable" 7 square miles.

Where the fuck do you get your information?

Posted by Guest on Oct. 16, 2012 @ 1:42 pm

The real problems that (still) need to be addressed in this city are affordable housing for the underprivileged and the poor, a flatter standard of living so that those of us in the "support sector" don't have to live in Antioch, and people still have a sense of civic awareness, not that they live in Disneyland-San Franciscolandia.
Ugh. I'm going back to Thailand. After 26 years, I'm kinda done with this place.

Posted by Stebeng on Oct. 16, 2012 @ 5:37 pm

Hipsters are always coming to SF, most of them are from the burbs, remember bike messengers used to young and crazy, people wanting to start bands, artists, etc. The Burning Man crowd, the dead head people, then somehow it got messed up in the 80's, people with money stayed in the city, people wanting to have kids,

Tech won't fix our problems might make our lives easier but a app for paying parking meter sounds nice. The city has problems, you can either keep your tax base growing, raise taxes on a shrinking tax base, cut spending or just keep doing the same thing over and over.

Whiners are the same all over, whine in a city that has traffic and taxi problems, what do you want Napa.

If i was a techie who wanted to start a start up or business, first thing is look at Fremont or San Jose, even better yet Mountain View. More friendly to business, decent office space, they are improving bike transit.

Posted by Garrett on Oct. 17, 2012 @ 11:12 am

I not so sure this video isn't satire in the vein of The Onion, and that you've all been had.

Posted by Mikeinsf on Oct. 17, 2012 @ 2:51 pm

I've watched it several times through now, and visited the site. I'm convinced this is just a satire vid, released viral-style to drive clicks to the site.

It's way too techno-pretentious to be serious.

Posted by Mikeinsf on Oct. 17, 2012 @ 3:07 pm

Is it even legal to feed parking meters after the original time is up?

Posted by Guest on Oct. 18, 2012 @ 12:56 pm

Yeah, when I saw this stupid twitter ad, with, I think his name is Jack, being all earnest about how he's gonna help I really thought it was a joke. When the part about the Mission played I couldn't believe that was the supposed joke the ad was trying to make. How dare they make light of a very real problem while the rest of the ad was nonsense. The reason the Mission is the Mission is because of Latinos, not techies. Show respect.

Posted by Aaron on Oct. 19, 2012 @ 12:10 am