Wiener to star in porn flick

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Always ready for a starring role!

Supervisor Scott Wiener has signed a contract to star in a new porn film satirizing the city’s ban on nudity.

Variety reports that Wiener accepted a deal “in the mid three figures” to play the fictitious Supervisor Scott Cox in “Cover Up,” a film by the legendary Naked Sword productions.

Wiener replaces porn star Dale Cooper, who has left the film “to pursue other interests.”

The film, shot on location in the Castro, would violate the ban on public nudity that Wiener sponsored – but since the producers obatined permits, Wiener said, wieners are permitted.

“Besides,” he told us, “penises and anuses and perineums are good for business. And what’s good for business is good for San Francisco.”

Wiener, who is exceptionally tall and shuns the dating scene, said he expects his appearing in the film to jump-start his sex life. “A six-foot-six naked guy is, well, a six-foot-six naked guy, if you know what I mean,” Wiener told us. “And I think you do,” he added with a giggle.

Outtakes will soon be available at sfgov.org/nakedsupervisorwiener.

Comments

One joke. Funny

Two jokes. Overdoing it.

Three jokes. Tedious.

Oh, and tthe expiry time is 12 noon.

Posted by Guest on Apr. 01, 2013 @ 12:29 pm

But, but, Tim has so many enemies that he needs to mock!

Of course, it will be a cold day in Hell before he mocks Avalos or Mirkarimi in an April Fool's piece...

Posted by Demented, Yet Terribly, Terribly, Persistent on Apr. 01, 2013 @ 12:49 pm

achieved more for SF politics in a couple of years than Tim has achieved in a couple of decades.

And that has got to really hurt.

Posted by Guest on Apr. 01, 2013 @ 1:09 pm

...and besides, there is nothing about Mirkarimi that is remotely satirizable!

Posted by Demented, Yet Terribly, Terribly, Persistent on Apr. 01, 2013 @ 1:35 pm

Tim and Steven are still smarting about the fact that the first progressive in forever who got elected in a city-wide election then promptly self-destructed, by abusing his wife rather than getting on with his job.

'Twas ever so.

Posted by Guest on Apr. 01, 2013 @ 1:51 pm
LOL

are you talking to yourself? Hilar.

Posted by admin on Apr. 01, 2013 @ 2:41 pm

feel good about mocking him, even tho he is a soft target at this point.

Posted by anon on Apr. 01, 2013 @ 3:10 pm

What could be more obvious?

Posted by lillipublicans on Apr. 01, 2013 @ 4:07 pm

Including you when you post as "anon".

Posted by Guest on Apr. 01, 2013 @ 4:58 pm

Really. April Fool's is supposed to be a fun thing and if you mock anyone it should be yourself. Google announced 'Google Nose' and Twitter announced 'Twitr', for people who won't pay to use vowels.

But here at the SFBG? Just another chance to mock your enemies, particularly the successful ones. The one about Muni/Lyft was bad enough but Tim has to try another one against Weiner?

How insecure can this guy be?

Posted by Troll on Apr. 01, 2013 @ 4:14 pm

The Timster doth protesteth too much.

Posted by Guest on Apr. 01, 2013 @ 4:59 pm

What a remarkably piety-flavored type hypocrisy you try to feed us.

Go. the. f*** away!

Posted by lillipublicans on Apr. 02, 2013 @ 1:10 pm

place is, why don't YOU go away?

Just like you did from SFGATE.

Oh no, wait, you were banned from there for trolling.

Posted by Guest on Apr. 02, 2013 @ 1:12 pm

My comments there -- unlike the kind of bland, repetitive, corporate dogma spew parade you put on here -- were thoughtful, variegated and thorough.

My comments often *added* information to news stories; not like your hackneyed and repetitive attempts at derision here.

It was a value that I was contributing to SFGate free of charge, but when they suspended my account all my contributions were tossed away.

Earlier, SFGate had simply "lost" pages and pages of comments; capriciously and carelessly. This happened to many commenters besides myself.

SFGate seemed prone to breaking what I took to be an implicit compact -- quite wrongly, I now see -- that I obey their rules and they host my writings on their website.

Instead, SFGate maintains a political forum which is engineered to produce the result it does.

Their reporting system favors the sort of dogged, lying, scoundrels who plague this site because not only can they mischaracterize what others have said there, but they can report comments for removal and actually take effective action to stifle the voices of those who disagree with them.

Incidentally, SFGate banned me in the most insolent manner possible since they made a wholly transparent effort to make my situation invisible to me.

Stupid and impudent.

For the few decent writers still working there, I urge them to find an honest line of work.

(ps: don't forget about the "go the f*** away" part, okay?)

Posted by lillipublicans on Apr. 02, 2013 @ 2:15 pm

Well, gee, I'm shocked.

And you gave them your contributions "free of charge"? How generous of you. I feel sure that many people would be willing to pay a lot to read your daily, endless, hopeless allegations of trollery and lying and all the other real "value" that you add.

No, Lilli, you were banned because you were trolling. It is easy to see why, given the repetitive, valueless, vacuous dross you routinely trot out here.

SFGate did the right thing in banning you, and I fully support their actions, as I am sure do most here.

Posted by Guest on Apr. 02, 2013 @ 3:02 pm

Yes! this is awesome. I'm the director of "The Cover Up" and I can't wait to work with Scott Wiener. He's an awesome guys and well, you know he's up for the part! woohoo! Let's rock this Scott - just gotta find you a loving power-bottom. woohoo!

Big hugs & Happy April!

-mr. Pam
Director, NakedSword's The Cover Up ;)

Posted by mr. Pam on Apr. 02, 2013 @ 12:22 pm

We love you! ;)

Posted by admin on Apr. 02, 2013 @ 1:35 pm

Wait.....he's a TOP????

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