The incoherence of the American right

Louie Gohmert (R-TX), one of many mouthpieces

According to the American Right, circa now, the following are truisms:

The bias in the liberal media is crippling the valiant patriot but to re-implement the Fairness Doctrine (where both sides would get equal time) stifles the same valiant patriot.

An undocumented immigrant must wait ten years and pay massive fines to become an American citizen or at least work here legally and that's nowhere near the imposition of a half hour background check.

Scientists on no industry's payroll that say man made climate change is real only do so for "reasons of political advantage" (that are never explained) while scientists that do not are always on the petroleum industry's payroll are work in "think tanks" funded by same.

In order for Jesus to return, Jews must occupy certain sections of Jerusalem and once they do, Christ (a Jew) will slaughter all but 144 of them. AKA "The Rapture", a biblical event that's not in the Bible.

Poor people caused the real estate crash of 2008. Without owning anything.

ACORN's fraudulent voter registration cost the GOP the White House in 2008 as well. ACORN registered 2 million voters over the course of its entire existence and Obama won by 9.7 million votes.

Sharing bicycles in New York, says one of their mouthpieces in the Wall Street Journal, is "totalitarianism" (because the bikes all look alike)(Bicycles really do set these people off, bike lanes in Colorado, according to the same Right is part of the UN-installed New World Order).

Solar power is more effective in Germany, because they get more sunlight. Never mind that Boston is hundreds of miles south of middle Germany as is Seattle, those two bastions of great sunny weather.

These came to me in 10 minutes. 

These are core beliefs of one of this country's two major political parties.

Nah, we're not fucked--really.