Week 3

Internet "Medal of Honor"
Brooke Robertson

Week three is in the books for JAW at the SFBG. Almost a month here and while I'd like to say this is a fresh and brand new situation, Internet-speaking, it really isn't.

Like a fair amount of the world's presently upright population, I have a Facebook page, a couple of them, really. As I have been a peripatetic person in lots of different circles, I've made lots of friends and acquaintances. A truly diverse group. Which means agreement is rare, issue to issue. I have no problem with that. What I do have a problem with and what I insist upon (on my personal networking service) is one easy to follow rule: If you wouldn't say it in person, don't say it here. Not exactly a difficult demand, right?

It doesn't take a tremendous amount of self-awareness to follow probably should be the "Internet Golden Rule", but it does take a little self-discipline. Which seems to be a lot more that some people are willing to employ. More accurately, I think that the "internet troll" doesn't want to abide by that rule because it removes their greatest thrill, which is being an asshole without any tangible consequences.

When I see the responses that the blogs get here--mine and everyone else's--I cannot for the life of me imagine anyone saying some of the empty-headed and smugly belligerent remarks made here in real life. Simply would never happen. Not because of the fear of actual physical retribution or a verbal smackdown, but because however badly the internet troll was raised, even they know that putting a face to asinine commentary looks bad and is not likely to be as easily forgotten. Anonymous behind a monitor, it is safe to indulge in the worst kind of puerile posturing, because nothing can happen to you--hence "Internet Bravery". It is the natural counterpart to "Internet braggadocio", where life's losers morph into Zuckerberg Jr by tapping on a bunch of keys.

The cloddish putdowns, the refusal to provide any verifiable evidence to wildly offbeat exigesis that are thrown out like playing cards at a bridge tourney--none of this would ever pass muster in a coffee house or bar or bus-stop or any other place living, breathing humans congregate. But on the Net, cozy in the online cocoon, the swaggering would be Patton's bust out the bullshit with bluster and bravado.

So, this medal (lovingly crafted by Brooke Robertson) is for you. Defying carpal tunnel and hangnail, tapping away valiantly as you defend whatever or whomever is 100 rungs above you on the social ladder, print this baby out and pin it on with pride. Just not anywhere that anyone here might actually see you--of course.




Go down your local bar and try the same spiel there as here, and I'm fairly sure you'll get the same put-downs and ridicule as your comments here routinely do.

And I for one would be perfectly happy to say to your face anything that I'd say here. Why not? Are you suggesting that you'd come swinging for me with a baseball bat? simply your correcting your errors?

Hey, week three, you should have had at least one paycheck by now.. Heck, to be honest, if I could get paid for writing drivel like this, I probably would. So no hard feelings or anything. But you're still a pompous, self-absorbed ass.

Posted by Guest on Jun. 07, 2013 @ 1:00 pm

Grammar school kids know an incomplete sentence when they see one, apparently, you don't.

When did you correct an error of mine?

Posted by JohnnyW on Jun. 07, 2013 @ 3:56 pm

As I said.

When? Re-read any of my posts - they are all correct your erroneous thinking and spoutage.

Posted by Guest on Jun. 07, 2013 @ 5:24 pm

Link me to one of them.

"they are all correct your erroneous thinking and spoutage".

That isn't even in English.

Posted by JAW on Jun. 07, 2013 @ 6:57 pm
Posted by Guest on Jun. 08, 2013 @ 5:56 am

and you never say anything new. This is supposed to be a local progressive newspaper yet the vast majority of your columns are spent raging on national issues over which you have no influence. It's like reading a progressive FOX News comment thread.

Other than that it's OK.

Posted by Lucretia Snapples on Jun. 07, 2013 @ 2:10 pm

stage where men need stroking, cosseting and endless attention, as they mentally, emotionally and physically decline.

Where once there was, er, OK, a very average punk rocker, there is now a (very average) bleating, whiney apologist for every failure of socialism.

The medium changes; the mediocrity - not so much.

Posted by anon on Jun. 07, 2013 @ 2:24 pm

I see the above commenters have already earned one of Brooke Robertson's medals. Now if the anonymous "Guest" who responds to comments by using the name of a commenter in quotes in the title pops up in this thread, we'd have another medal recipient.

Posted by Peter on Jun. 07, 2013 @ 3:04 pm
Posted by anon on Jun. 07, 2013 @ 3:20 pm

Your best article yet!
You describe yourself perfectly!
Great medal also!
Pin it on your mouth

Posted by Guest For all the people you refer to as assholes, asshole on Jun. 07, 2013 @ 3:54 pm

So true, Mr. GuestFor.

Johnny Angel is a truth-speaking person. His blog comments ring as originals.

Posted by Mar on Jun. 07, 2013 @ 5:11 pm
Posted by Guest on Jun. 07, 2013 @ 5:25 pm

A person blogs on a revealed knowledge web page about others comical and moronic antics.

A web page that is as sophisticated as a twenty something who tries their very die hard best to agree with the life long government employee at the front of the class who is complaining about the government.

The Bay Guardian is, by, for, and about people with revealed politics, politics they picked up when they were around twenty or so and never moved on. Politics they picked up from people older than them who never moved on either.

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