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SUPER EGO OK, I figure I've got fewer than five readers this week because of, oh yeah, fucking Burning Man, so let's drop all the usual hyperintellectual lip gloss and get intimate. It's just you and me and the scent of a Mariah Carey M eau de parfum sample strip from a ripped-off copy of Glamour in the air between us. First, this just in: there's actually a Cuban drag queen in Miami named Fidela Castrato. Topical! Second, screw the burners for a couple of glorious weeks, the Bay is ours. Let's get go-go-toasted. Let's get ho-ho-noxious. Let's get divatrocious. Below are some delish party picks for the fortnight ahead to keep us busy while others pluck playa dust from their sun-baked cracks. Take back the night! And check out the Noise Blog at www.sfbg.com , where I'll be posting more Labor Day weekend and beyond kookiness. Just for us.
Years ago I got my first glimmer of the juggernaut that the whole blank-parody white-kid electro-hop scene would become when I scored a CD from the Guardian's Johnny Ray Huston sometime in the late '90s, put out by an awesome kid named Ed DMX, who vocoder-rapped over analog beats about rainbows and Adidases and probably unicorns but who the hell knows, I just needed the CD cover to cut up ... er, my nails. Anyway, it was awesome, and DMX is still alive! He'll be stepping lively with his Krew at one of the most raucous parties in sodomyville, Eggs, with PJ Pooterhoots and Safety Scissors.
Thu/30 10 p.m.2 a.m., $8
119 Utah, SF
The world's most phenomenal piece of transgendered flesh-sculpture talks! Will we ever understand? Do we want to? The legendary inflatable club goddess is interviewed onstage by inflatable Asian tranny whore Monistat, at the hippest nightspot for underage East Bay queer kids of color into Bryan Adams techno remixes and Rihanna mash-ups (and who can cough up $15). Fearfully intriguing.
Thu/30, 9:30 p.m.2 a.m., $15
715 Harrison, SF
18 and older
It's on. DJs Jefrodesiac (Frisco Disco, Blow Up) and Funk (Dancemania) hit the decks with some fine, fine chaos, and Hot Tub, that crazy, bubbly girl electro-rappin' trio from Oakland, perform live at this must-do event for non-naked-yoga-for-Gaia people.
Sun/2, 9 p.m.2 a.m.
Free with RSVP at going.com/djfunk
155 Fell, SF
What?! A Detroit-themed night at a queer club? Hells yeah. DJ Chicken hatches his latest feather-brained scheme at Truck, playing every genre of music that launched from tha D, which is, like, everything. (Hey, I'm from there work it out.) Motown, techno, Iggy, Eminem, White Stripes, MC5 ... need I go on? Also featuring and if you're not a Michigander, you won't get it Faygo cocktails! What, no Vernors? Chicken also tells me that Truck's kitchen may also include a chili dog minus the dog (Coney Special), a burger smothered in ketchup (Murder Burger), or an onion ring on a hamburger bun (Spare Tire). Rawk.
Sept. 5, 9 p.m.2 a.m., free
1900 Folsom, SF
Gays in frilly panties! Strip poker! Mayhem! DJ Mickey Moniker from Vancouver (Uncanny, Pumpjack) joins DJ Donimo and DJ6 for a night of electro madness at Lucky Pierre the steamy monthly at the Stud for three-way lovers and their lovers' lovers. Plus, this month's theme is "hair" (as in fluff it up, show it out, shave it off not the musical, I dearly hope), so grab your giant novelty comb and hop to. Coco Canal hosts, Artemis Chase deals, and the toilets overflow. With love!
Sept. 7, 10 p.m.3 a.m., $7
399 Ninth St., SF