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SUPER EGO "I don't know what's wrong with you, but I like it!" some hot soul shrieked at me outside the club. That's totally my new self-affirmation T-shirt because, like, what's with all the negative exacerbations in the world not just in the shivery politisphere, but in the Zany Land of Nightlifez, too?
Most of my friends got canned from the Transfer so it could redirect itself, and 222 Club got sold so its fabulous owners could move on to bigger things both unfortunate events that effectively ended a few of my fave parties and a lot of my free drinks. The Attack of Gargantuan Overpriced Ultralounges from Planet Douchebag Airbrushed Clothing continues, with three slated to open downtown by the end of the year. The great Steve Lady, the first Miss Trannyshack, passed away. And who isn't packing a teeny pink dildo-shaped spritzer of mace in their Chrome clutch these days, what with all the violence after dark?
Life can sometimes seem like it dropped your bag in the toilet or shot your wolf from a plane. But then it's time to spin around, put one slender hand on your one slender hip, yell "FAIL, motherfucker," and just own that shit like a kicky hairstyle. Give me back my wolf! Get me a new bag! Then call me a cab! I'm going to these parties.
Now that Trannyshack has ended, the race to fill hostess Heklina's humongous vacuum is on! (Ew.) In primed pole position is belovedly ditzy Cookie Dough, whose stubblebrity-studded drag implosion Monster Show (www.cookievision.tv ) now splats its gender-clown intestines against the walls of Underground SF every Monday night. On Sept. 29, Miz Dough will throw a costume party laced with wrong/wrong performances to celebrate four years of ... well ... something. Who the hell knows what's gonna happen, but it'll be wearing fabric that hurts glaciers when it's burned.
Fri/29, 9 p.m., $5. Underground SF, 424 Haight, SF. (415) 864-7386, www.undergroundsf.com 
Oh yes, LoveFest comes gloriously upon us Oct. 4 (www.sflovefest.org ), but there'll be some real love going down at Supperclub the Thursday beforehand, when LoveFest pre-party Pendana Swahili for "to love one another," duh brings together a massive roster of well-known local DJs to benefit NextAid (www.nextaid.org ), an LA joint that helps out African kids. Jenö from Back2Back, Kontrol's Alland Byallo, Fil Latorre and Javaight from Staple, and a host of others will provide some juicy tech-house tunes. You bring the love and ducats.
Last week in this very publication I wrote a sorta know-it-all article about the underground musical movements that have taken over US dance floors but I must still be rolling down from that magic cap I chewed in '02 since I forgot to mention the whole baile funk/electro-cumbia/digi-samba thing. Which is sad, because I adore it. Now it's time to add kuduro a faster, blippier, more air-horny version of baile funk originating in Angola to the go-go global genre stew, as nuevo Latino electro party Tormenta Tropical teams up with disco sweethearts Body Heat to host a live blast from floor-thumping Portuguese kuduro kings Buraka Som Sistema (www.myspace.com/burakasomsistema ). Also on tap: local fave-ravers Lemonade, who bring a brainy, rocky Brazilian twist to the bass bins. Muito louco!
Oct. 3, 10 p.m., $10. Elbo Room, 647 Valencia, SF. (415) 552-7788, www.elbo.com