FALL ARTS Carefully craft your Facebook profile if you like, but there's a low-tech lushness about the old-fashioned cut and paste zine that can't be denied. The Xerox-ready vendors and attendees of DIY wonderland SF Zine Fest — one highlight of this season's array of fairs and festivals — definitely don't mind the paper cuts. "You can just see the interior creativity of people being allowed to come out," says festival organizer Francois Paultre, whose team has put together a slate of hands-on workshops to accompany the 120 zinesters hawking their wares in the Exhibition Hall of the County Fair Building. This year the event features an appearance by a touring cadre of U.K. artists and the ever-popular book-binding and screen-printing classes, the latter taught by cartoonist-blogger-zinester John Isaacson, who has been known to draw a crowd. "You get more than 70 people in the room learning how to screen-print," Paultre says. "It's always kind of bonkers." Sept. 4-5; 11 a.m.-6 p.m., free. County Fair Building, 1199 Ninth Ave., SF; www.sfzinefest.com .
Shakespeare in the Park Presidio's Main Post Parade Ground Lawn, between Graham and Keyes, SF; (415) 558-0888, www.sfshakes.org . Sat, 7:30 p.m.; Sun, 2:30 p.m., free. Through Sept. 26. Wherefore art thou, pink slip? Take arms against a sea of financial misfortunes with this SF classic free theater series.
Eat Real Jack London Square, Broadway and First St., Oakl.; (510) 250-7811, www.eatrealfest.com . Fri, 2–9 p.m.; Sat, 10:30 a.m.–9 p.m.; Sun, 10:30 a.m.–5 p.m., free. The wildly successful sustainable food fest returns for year two, upping the ante with kombucha classes and homemade sausage making.
Berkeley Old Time Music Convention Times, locations, and prices vary. www.berkeleyoldtimemusic.org . Square dance, string bands, and clean American fun mark this twangtacular, whose roots date back to the 1960s.
SF Electronic Music Festival Brava Theater, de Young Museum, 50 Hagiwara Tea Garden, SF; www.sfemf.org . Thurs, 8 p.m.; Fri, 9 p.m.; Sat 8 p.m., $16–$40. A three day circuit board of the Bay's best independent electro-acoustic sounds.
Ghirardelli Chocolate Festival Ghirardelli Square, 900 North Point, SF; (415) 775-5500, www.ghirardellisq.com . 12– 5 p.m., $20 for 15 samples. It's a festival of chocolate. No further explanation necessary.
Power to the Peaceful Speedway Meadows, Golden Gate Park, SF; www.powertothepeaceful.org . 9 a.m.–5 p.m., free. Special after party at the Fillmore and workshops all day Sunday. Michael Franti's annual attempt to heal the world with music and mass downward-facing dogs returns. Special pre-party and workshops will be held at the Fillmore Theater, check website for details.
Brews on the Bay S.S. Jeremiah O'Brien at Pier 45; (415) 939-1943, www.sfbrewersguild.org . 1 p.m., $45–$75. Crawl aboard this WWII Liberty ship and set sail for high times with seven SF breweries and over 40 beers in which to sink your anchor.
J-Pop Summit Festival New People, 1746 Post, SF; (415) 525-8630, www.newpeopleworld.com . 11 a.m.- 6 p.m., free. Japantown floods with Tokyo pop culture, featuring live music, movies, art, and food.
SEPT. 14– Nov. 20
SF Jazz Fest Times, locations, and prices vary. (866) 920-5299, www.sfjazz.org . The SF High School All-Stars are a highlight of this world-class fest, which will also draw performances from Chucho Valdés, Lila Downs, and many more.
Northern California Fall Boat Show Jack London Square, Broadway and First St., Oakl.; (510) 536-6000, www.ncma.com . Weds-Fri, 12–6 p.m.; Sat and Sun, 10 a.m.- 6 p.m., $10. You're on a boat! Or you could be if you hightail to this show of sea-going vessels
SEPT. 24–OCT. 17
24 Days of Art Times, locations, and prices vary. Most events are free. www.centralmarketarts.org . The Central Market celebrates it's budding prominence as an arts district with this performance cavalcade from indoor gallery and dance to outdoor plaza concerts.
Folsom Street Fair Folsom from Seventh to 12th streets, SF; www.folsomstreetfair.org . 11 a.m.–6 p.m., free. Whips, chains, and you! Show your kink at this leather orgy for everyone.
Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Speedway Meadows, Golden Gate Park, SF; www.strictlybluegrass.com . Fri, 2–7:30 p.m.; Sat and Sun, 11 a.m.–7:30 p.m., free. Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings, Yonder Mountain String Band, and Randy Newman are a few amongst many that will play one of SF's favorite free events of the year.
International Festival of Classical Indian Dance and Music Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, 701 Mission, SF; www.kathak.org/traditionsengaged . Fri, 10 a.m.–10 p.m.; Sat and Sun, 9 a.m.–10 p.m., $150–$295. Performances and workshops focusing on the ancient art of Indian dance.
Litquake Times, locations vary; most events free. www.litquake.org . Book enthusiasts won't skip ahead to the last page of this literary festival — its author readings and panel discussions make it the biggest of its kind on the West Coast.
World Veg Festival SF County Fair Building, Ninth Ave and Lincoln, SF; (415) 273-5481, www.sfvs.org . 10 a.m.–6 p.m., $7 suggested donation. Meat-free mingling with cooking demos, fashion shows, and even vegan speed dating.
Wildlife Conservation Expo Mission Bay Conference Center, 1675 Owens, SF; www.wildlifeconservationnetwork.org . 10 a.m.–6 p.m., $60. The cotton-topped tamarin needs your help! Learn how to help our endangered furry (and feathered, and scaly) friends at this environmentalist convention.
Castro Street Fair Castro and Market, SF; (415) 841-1824, www.castrostreetfair.org . 11 a.m.–6 p.m., free. SF's rainbow neighborhood kicks out the jams on three stages, with the usual passel of vendors, a vaudeville stage, and a country western pavilion.
Beatles Fest West Scottish Rite Masonic Center, 2850 19th Ave., SF; www.beatlesfestwest.com . $99. Ready for a full weekend of tributes to the world's favorite mop tops? Tribute acts from around the world at this celebration of all things Beatles.
Italian Heritage Parade starts at Jefferson and Stockton, SF; (415) 703-9888, www.sfcolumbusday.org/parade . 12:30 p.m., free. Cheer on 2010's Queen Isabella, Elisa Fannuchi and her court at this spicy meatball of a Columbus day parade.
SF Decompression Indiana Street, SF; www.burningman.com . Check website for times and prices. Radical self-expression doesn't die out easily — say hi to your playa friends at the season-ending street spectacular.
MCCLA Videofest Mission Cultural Center for Latino Arts, 2868 Mission, SF; (415) 643-2785, www.missionculturalcenter.org . See website for times and prices.
Potrero Hill Festival 20th St. between Wisconsin and Missouri, SF; www.potrerofestival . 9 a.m.–4 p.m., free. Kick off with a New Orleans jazz brunch, then wend your way through the stages, stalls, and kids bouncy house at this neighborhood party.
Exotic Erotic Ball Craneway Pavilion, 1414 Harbour Way South, Richmond; www.exoticeroticball.com . Fri, 4 p.m.–12 a.m.; Sat, 12 p.m.-2 a.m., $20-150. The yearly bacchanal-freak fest gets a new venue on the marina, the perfect setting for a skyline of Grade-A for adult performers.
Noe Valley Harvest Festival 24th St. between Church and Sanchez, SF; www.noevalleyharvestfestival.com . 10 a.m.–5 p.m., free. Get a jump on holiday crafts shopping and find a suitable pumpkin for your porch at this all-ages block party.
CCOF's Organic Beer and Wine Tasting Ferry Building, 1 Ferry Building, SF; (831) 423-2263, www.ccof.org . 4–8 p.m., $30. Over 21 purveyors of adult beverages want you to get a little tipsy on the glory of the Golden State's pesticide-free booze.
Dia de los Muertos Starts at 24th and Bryant streets and ends at Garfield Park; www.dayofthedeadsf.org . 7 p.m., free. Troop with the grease-painted skeletons through the Mission to the altar-filled park in observation of one of SF's cultural melting pots.
Tranny Fest CounterPulse, 1310 Mission, SF; www.trannyfest.com . 8 p.m., $12–$15 sliding scale. The country's first trans film festival presents short and long, U.S. and international looks at the gender queer life.
SF Green Festival SF Concourse Exhibition Center, 635 Eight St., SF; www.greenfestivals.org . Sat, 10 a.m.–7 p.m.; Sun, 11 a.m.– 6 p.m. Vegan clothing, holistic health, and so much more at this expo of sustainable living.
NOV. 26– DEC. 19
Great Dickens Christmas Fair Cow Palace Exhibition Halls, 2600 Geneva, SF; www.dickensfair.com . 11 a.m.–7 p.m., check website for prices. Twilight in Charles' Dickens London Town takes over the Cow Palace — enter for costumed revelers and could it be? Yep, the scene of roasting chestnuts.