Just you, me, and hundreds of friends with Frankie Knuckles, DJ MikeQ, Karizma, Forest Green, Red Bull Thre3style, Eugene Tambourine, As You Like It, and more parties
SUPER EGO Gotta say it: the weekend after a holiday weekend is the best for clubbing. Less pressure, more drink specials, fewer amateurs. Not that I have anything against newbies: like space girls, they're easy, but please. A ton of epic shit I don't remember happened over the Presidents' three-day — hopefully not a Bush threeway — but if it involved the word "epic" I'm certainly glad I don't. Crowded parties are totally my thing (and the gigs I'm recommending below will surely feel cozy). But if I get elbowed in the boob one more time at the bar, I'm gonna go Yoko Ono. I definitely look forward to the myriad hot happenings this weekend to have more room for my quick steps and sidekicks on the dance floor — and to not involve the word "sick," either. Let's get into it.
"He had come like a thief in the night. And one by one dropped the revellers in the blood-bedewed halls of their revel, and died each in the despairing posture of his fall." With a tagline that baroque, how can you refuse? This masked ball is one of the most beguilingly glamorous nights of the year, as DJs Omar, Justin, and Nako of monthly dark wave party Shutter play for a crowd that seesaws gorgeously between Louis Quatorze and Siouxsie Sioux. Powdered wigs in full effect, y'all.
Wed/23, 10 p.m., $5. Elbo Room, 647 Valencia, SF. www.elbo.com , Facebook: Shutter Red Death
"Who's the best on the decks in SF?" the energy drink has the temerity to ask. It also has the bulls to back up the interrogative. But this time they're getting wingy with the straight-up DJ battle rules for its Thre3style competition: Each contestant gets a 15-minute set, but the catch is that set must contain at least three different genres of music. (Good luck identifying individual genres in this day and age, but that's for judges Shortkut, Hakobo, Trevor Simpson, and DJ Jazzy Jeff — yes, that one — to figure out.) Before I start to sound all product placementy, the reason I'm stoked for this is because the Red Bull folks have picked competitors from scenes as disparate as dyke electro, glitch-step, and indie-breaks — and it will be a treat to see them jam out of their comfort zones. The winner will go on to rep the city at the National Finals in Las Vegas. Competing for the taurine crown: Platurn, B. Cause, Natalie Nuxx, Eric Sharp, Jeffrey Paradise, Goldenchyld, Solomon, and Dials.
Thu/24, 8 p.m., $10–$15. DNA Lounge, 375 11th St., SF. www.dnalounge.com 
The luscious intelligent techno party emerges from the underground to get all official and stuff at Public Works. This night promises wide appeal: In the main room, Berlin techno hero Ben Klock heads up a showcase of his Klockworks label, with DVS1 and As You Like It residents Christina Chatfield and Mossmoss. Meanwhile upstairs there'll be some disco-y deepness happening, with Rich Korach, Conor, Lovefingers from NYC, and a DJ who never fails to twist my silky sonic panties up into a ball, Parisian cutie Le Loup from the Wolf + Lamb label. (Arooo!) This party is known for its immersive visual environment, so prepare to be dazzled.
Fri/25, 9 p.m.-4 a.m., $15–$20. Public Works, 161 Erie, SF. www.publicsf.com 
The Godfather of House beams in from Chicago with that 1000-kilowatt smile and a bag full of music history. I've heard him when he's moody and orchestral, I've heard him when he's raw and funky — lately he's been epertly combining both, and throwing on a few breathtaking and unclassifiable rarities to boot. The sound of now is bending back towards his turntable style, so you'll leap ahead just by hearing him. DJ David Harness opens up the deep soul at this mixed and welcoming shindig.
Sat/26, 10 p.m.–3 a.m., $15-$20. Mighty, 119 Utah, SF. www.mighty119.com 
The fab Hard French soul-stompin' vinyl 45s party, which overruns the El Rio patio every month, has been on hiatus for the winter. It officially returns on March 5, but until then, soak up the indoor glory as Hard French DJs Brown Amy and Carnitas hit the monthly retro Go Bang! party. Also: Highly recommended from NYC by the likes of turntable legends Danny Krivit and Nicky Siano comes the man known as Eugene Tambourine, a disco re-editor and house geneticist who knows his way around dance floor sounds of yore. Residents Steve Fabus, Sergio, and Tres Lingerie keep it all steamy.
Sat/26, 9 p.m.–late, $5. Deco Lounge, 510 Larkin, SF. www.decosf.com 
Possibly the sweetest DJ and beatsmaker in the universe, Forest Green (www.forestgreen.org ) is surely one of the busiest. Daly City Records' resident fuzzy bunny, she's been hopping around the world with her high-energy, slightly spiritual brand of good ol' techno and breaks since the big rave days of yore. Her recent music, on her label Cute Fang, is totally entrancing and brings a funky electro vibe without going overboard into easy bangers. She'll be celebrating Cute Fang's birthday with a lineup of lovely guests (with fangs!), including DJ Icon, DJ Denise, Dragn'fly, Influence, Smoove, Tek 9, and Lick the DJ. Who, besides the most toady among us, would pass up Lick the DJ? (I have no idea who that is but I like it.)
Sat/26, 9 p.m., $5. Shine, 1337 Mission, SF. www.shinesf.com 
Children, vogue music has changed — and 24-year-old MikeQ from New Jersey is pushing "the Ha" forward. The digital age and a more aggressive style of ball walking have thrust voguing as far away from Madonna's 1990 halcyon days as possible. The new style, which takes its inspiration from Masters at Works' pounding "The Ha Dance" from 1991 but chops and samples kiki beats and voices into a deliciously abstract salad, is clearing the floor for new musicmakers like MikeQ's fellow stylists Angel X of Atlanta, B.Ames of Houston, the bamabounce collective from Birmingham, Alabama, and the mother of all contemporary vogue beats innovation, DC's Vjuan Allure. MikeQ adds a devilish sense of humor that helps appeal to queens and beat junkies alike (and those like me, who are both at once.) As for Karizma, back in 2003 when I was completely addicted to streaming sets from DeepHousePage.com, he put some heavy Baltimore voodoo on Donnie's "Cloud 9" that I'll never forget. Now he's transitioned to a smoother yet still bumping sound. The combination of these two should turn the monthly Icee Hot party out.
Sat/26, 10 p.m.–3 a.m., $10. SOM, 2625 16th St., SF. www.som-bar.com