Can't stop, won't stop: Cut Chemist, Brenmar, Severino, Peaches Christ, and more nightlife players keep you lean and mean for 2014
SUPER EGO Like I have one half-gram of dopamine left in this one half-brain after New Year's Eve to help me glue my heels back on, smear another layer of mascara down my cheeks, spit-shine my tiara, and stumble out onto the dance floor. Children, I am giving you tragic Courtney Love circa mid-'90s on a melted CD cover right now. And yet! I'd much rather face the DJ than the Safeway or the Muni, so let's just stay out a little longer, k?
The in-joke about classic decks-master Chemist is that he's the most casual (sloppiest) dresser on the scene -- recent press photos aim to correct that view -- but oh my goodness his skills. The man can shock and awe, a blur on the tables. And you can dance to it! With Them Jeans, Platurn, Motion Potion, and many more.
Fri/3, 9pm, free. 1015 Folsom, SF. www.1015.com 
Rock out on the dance floor in that weird, chill, communally epic yet ironic way of the 2000s as this party brings out all the Spoon, Strokes, Phoenix, Devandra Banhart, Beirut, and other classic aughts acts' fans. No need to feel so funny about reliving the recent past. With DJs Jamie Jams and Emdee.
Fri/3, 10pm, $10. Elbo Room, 647 Valencia, SF. www.facebook.com/lastnite00s 
If you thought 2013 sucked, it's time to sink your teeth into 2014 the right way — all dark and lovely at this gothfest extraordinaire. Long-running industrial club Strangelove's third annual dress-up affair features wicked good DJs Tomas Diablo, Melting Girl, Fact.50, C_Death, and Sage.
Fri/3, 9:30-3am, $7. Cat Club, 1190 Folsom, SF. www.strangelovesf.com 
This makes me laugh every year — our beloved mashup monthly drops all those balloons and uncorks all that champagne again. No word about what happened to that baby in the diaper and top hat from Tuesday night, though.
He'll turn up sometime. With DJs Tripp and Entime and the Hubba Hubba Revue.
Sat/4, 9pm-late, $15. DNA Lounge, 375 11th St., SF. www.bootiesf.com 
And you though Christ was born last month: Well, here's the evil twin at last, getting her drag due in the spotlight. You go, ghoul. A host of queens — including Honey Mahogany, Lady Bear, Peggy L'Eggs, Raya Light, and Fauxnique — pay tribute to the cult film luminary and gender clown idol. I can't believe she's 40! Truly, it is an epiphany.
Sat/4, 9pm (performances start at 10:30pm), free. Rebel, 1760 Market, SF. www.peacheschrist.com 
Honestly, no words for how much I adore this Britalian founder of Horse Meat Disco — or for how much he can make familiar records sound brand spanking new (and dig up the most exquisite gems). He'll be at the Odyssey party, one of the best in the city, with Robert Jeffrey and Robin Simmons.
Sat/4, 9:30-3:30am, $10. Public Works, 161 Erie, SF. www.publicsf.com 
Chicago-born, NYC-based dirty bass mechanic knows how to break it down in a hella-contemporary, pants-tucked-into-boots way. His hair remains fly, too. He'll be at the latest Lights Down Low installment, with Joaquin Bartra and Mr. Vos.
Sat/4, 10pm-3am, $15. Monarch, 101 Sith St., SF. www.monarchsf.com 
Best of all: You can start your new year off with a straight-up SF soulful house legend, paired with another unbeatable legend (David Harness), playing on one of the best systems in the city, to a crowd of stoked locals. So nice.
Sat/4, 10pm-4am, $20. Mighty, 119 Utah, SF. www.mighty119.com