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Humpday Happy Hour Good Vibrations, 899 Mission, SF. www.goodvibes.com . 6:30-7:30 p.m., free. How about this: Good Vibes will help you find your G-spot for free. But don't cancel tonight's date. Seasoned staff will be telling a come-one-come-all happy hour gang how to use the sex toy shop's line of G-reat stimulators – and the first 10 attendees get a free tool, which will make any homework assigned a lot easier.
"The Story of an Oyster" discussion California Historical Society Museum, 678 Mission, SF. www.californiahistoricalsociety.org . 5:30 p.m., free. RSVP to email@example.com . The salty contention over Point Reyes' Drakes Bay Oyster Farm revolves around allegations of scientific misconduct as well as possible environmental damage. Today, the owners come to San Francisco for a mediated discussion of all things oyster.
"Four Painters California" opening party Firehouse North Gallery, 1790 Shattuck, Berk. firehouseartcollective.blogspot.com. 7-9 p.m., free. Four painters from Berkeley's Firehouse Art Collective display their artistic takes on the Golden State at this California-spirited shindig, which will feature a kombucha bar and live music.
"You Must Not Blame Me If I Do Not Talk to Clouds" opening party Satellite66, 66 Sixth St., SF. www.satellite66.org . 7-10 p.m., free. Artist Robert Long has created a rather nebulous dreamscape of an installation through which visitors can roam and explore the cumulonimbus of their imaginations.
"Tall Tales of Bad Luck" Writer's Grotto open reading The Grotto, 490 Second St., SF. www.sfgrotto.org . 7 p.m., free. You know how you get a writer onstage? Let them talk about how hard their life is, and provide beer. Hey, it would work for us – and will tonight, as Guardian alumni writers take the Friday the 13th stage at this venerable writer's den. The unaffliated are welcome to read as well if they get there early enough to sign up. Refreshments provided by 21st Amendment Brewery, so no whining.
Writers with Drinks Make Out Room, 3225 22nd St., SF. www.makeoutroom.com . 7:30-9 p.m., $5. Thomas Roche (zombie novelist -- no, not undead, just likes to write about them), Mary van Note (zinester supreme) and Justin Chin (forceful poet, writer on subjects like the avian flu) get together for "an evening of uncomfortable sex talk." Proceeds benefit the Center for Sex and Culture.
Sacred Harp singing convention Casa de Flores, 737 Walnut St., San Carlos. Also Sun/15. 9 a.m.-3 p.m., free. A sort of congenial triathalon for singers across the country, the Sacred Harp style of singing dates back before the Civil War, when church music was more egalitarian in spirit. Particularly noteworthy are the musical notes themselves, conveyed in an obsolete, polygon-based style.
Godwaffle Noise Pancakes performance The Lab, 2948 16th St., SF. www.thelab.org . 12 p.m., $5. Sonic experimenters R K Faulhaber and Hora Flora join forces over vegan pancakes for a "savage and transcendent" performance.
Masala Boom Room for Big Ideas, Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, 701 Mission, SF. www.ybca.org . 2 p.m., free. Derick Ion, nomadic photographer, Burning Man-Day of the Dead busy bee, and Room for Big Ideas' resident artist, brings Kirtan and gypsy music, chai, and henna to Yerba Buena for an interactive afternoon with guests.
Free admission day Museum of the African Diaspora, 685 Mission, SF. www.moadsf.org . 11 a.m.-5 p.m., free. MoAD celebrates Martin Luther King Day with free admission and two filmmaker-led screenings. More Than a Month examines the problems inherent to condensing black history into one month; The Barber of Birmingham recounts, through the lens of the 2008 election, the discovered story of haircutting Civil Rights activist James Armstrong.
"How Money Corrupts Congress – and a Plan to Stop It" Novellus Theater, Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, 700 Howard, SF. www.ybca.org . 7:30 p.m., $10. Sponsored by the Long Now Foundation, responsible for installing a 10,000 year clock in the side of a mountain, Lawrence Lessig talks congress reform.