On the Cheap listings by Caitlin Donohue. Submit items for the listings at firstname.lastname@example.org . For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks.
Beats for Lunch Monarch 101 Sixth St., SF. www.sunsetpromotions.com . Noon-2pm, free. It has to be the best party deal in town. Not only do you get in free with pre-registration for this lunchtime disco, but upon entering Monarch's dark haven from the harsh noon sun, attendees receive their very own organic brown bag lunch. How you'll eat it neatly while dancing to co-founder of global fusion group Delhi to Dublin, Boogiemeister and DJ Matt Haze is your own challenge to deal with.
Crossroads Irish American Festival reading California Historical Society, 678 Mission, SF. www.irishamericancrossroads.org . 6pm, free. Readings of little-known Irish immigrant writers who lived in San Francisco are interspersed with live harp music at an event perfect for adding cultural learning to your St. Patty's season.
A Simple Revolution book launch Modern Times Bookstore, 2919 24th St., SF. www.mtbs.com . 6:30pm, free. Judy Grahn celebrates the release of her memoir and raps today about her life as a lesbian in the Bay Area during the 1960s and '70s.
"Hooch, Harlots, and History: Vice in San Francisco" Old Mint, 88 Fifth St., SF. www.sfhistory.org . 6:30-9:30pm, $10. Rapscallions Broke Ass Stuart, historian Woody LaBounty, and more spin tales of vintage shenanigans, while audience members sip classic cocktails and 21st Amendment Brewery beer.
Ask a Scientist's Pi Day puzzle party SoMa StrEat Food Park, 428 11th St., SF. www.askascientistsf.com . 7pm, free entry, food purchase suggested. A math and logic puzzle contest in which solo and team competitors (up to six on a side) are invited to bust out the pencils, erasers, and pocket protectors.
"Shifted Perception" Fouladi Projects, 1803 Market, SF. www.fouladiprojects.com . Through May 11. Opening reception: 6-8pm, free. Will painter Marcus Payzant's work inspire a level-jump in your gray matter? Payzant's into animist beliefs, instilling deep meaning in relics from the natural world.
"The Art of Dr. Seuss" Dennis Rae Fine Art, 781 Beach, SF. www.dennisraefineart.com . Through March 31. Opening reception: 5-8pm, free. Curator Bill Dreyer will be on hand to introduce the Bay Area to this touring exhibition of the beloved children's author and illustrator's hat collection, which are displayed alongside the works of art they inspired.
"Cloth, Clouds, and Survival: Weavers' Tales from East Timor" de Young Museum, 50 Hagiwara Tea Garden Drive, SF. www.famsf.org . 10am, $10. Cultural anthropologist Jill Forshee presents on her 12 years collecting oral histories from the textile workers who live in one of the world's poorest countries.
Commonplace Birthday weekend Castle in the Air, 1805 Fourth St., Berk. www.castleintheair.biz . In celebration of Karima Cammel's picture book Commonplace Birthday, an installation in the author's Commonplace Mouse children's series, Castle in the Air studio and art supply shop is hosting a weekend of raising support for Oakland Children's Hospital. Drop-in crafting sessions for all ages will give visitors the chance to make decorations for sick kids' birthdays,
St. Patrick's Day parade and festival Parade starts at Market and Second St., SF. 11:30am, free; festival at Civic Center Plaza, SF. 10am-5pm, free. www.saintpatricksdaysf.com . High step your way downtown today for the biggest leprechaun of all: St. Patty's Day celebrations. This week's theme is "Celebrating the Celtic Woman" — SF Fire Department chief Joanna Hayes-White presides over the processional, and will hopefully keep the pub louts in line.
Brain Health Expo Samuel Merritt University Health Education Center, 400 Hawthorne, Oakl. www.samuelmerritt.edu . 10am-3pm, free. Care for your cranium with this day-long event, where you can dig on stress management pointers, ways to prevent hurting that noggin, and tricks for beefing up your memory.
G.I. Joe cosplay at the Cartoon Art Museum Cartoon Art Museum, 655 Mission, SF. www.cartoonart.org . 1-5pm, $7. In celebration of the new G.I. Joe: Retaliation movie, local cosplay group Cobra 1st Legion is taking over the Cartoon Art Museum, providing soldier models for live drawing sessions, and presiding over beaucoup giveaways of comic nerd manna.
"Tarot: Art of Fortune" Modern Eden Gallery, 403 Francisco, SF. www.moderneden.com . Through April 9. Opening reception: 6-10pm, free. Immerse yourself in woo this weekend at this group exhibition curated by local art website Warholian's founder, Michael Cuffe. The creative works comprise an alternative look at the all-knowing tarot deck.
"Feast of Words: A Literary Potluck" SOMArts Cultural Center, 934 Brannan, SF. www.somarts.org . 7-9pm, $5 with a potluck dish, $10-12 without. Every third Thursday, gourmands and writers congregate at this sit-down reading and eating event. Maggie Weber-Striplin of Pachamama provides the culinary centerpiece at this edition, with a plate inspired by the name of Quiet Lightning, the local reading series that delivers quick bolts of author greatness.
"Colors of Sao Paolo" Glama-rama Salon, 304 Valencia, SF. www.glamarama.com . The Mission salon bedecks its walls with Seren Moran's vivid color block paintings of sights she took in teaching English in Indaiauba, Brazil.