By Tim Redmond
This one's out of right field: Pete Wilson, who has a radio show on KGO, announced yesterday afternoon that Sup. Bevan Dufty and his old friend Rebecca Goldfader, should never have had a child. His argument: Since Dufty is gay and Goldfader is a lesbian, their co-parenting arrangement somehow isn't as good as a "traditional" family in which the two parents are sleeping together. (I mean, having sex; if Dufty and Godlfader are like any other parents of a newborn, neither of them is sleeping much at all and when they do they're playing musical beds -- the baby's here, the baby's there, one of us is with him, or both of us, and nobody knows who's going to wake up where.)
Left in SF has the details, and a link to the show. Here's what the station is saying about it, which is almost too strange to comprehend:
Pete ran a story last night on ABC 7 News that, upon first glance, seems like an innocent tale of modern-day parenthood. But upon closer inspection, Pete believes this story is a cautionary tale of how having a child can become too cavalier of an arrangement. Call him old fashioned and even conservative, but Pete is a firm believer that a committed and loving couple in a relationship makes for the best parents. What San Francisco Supervisor Bevan Dufty and his female roommate are trying to do can have dangerous ramifications for their new child, and others in similar positions who want to undertake similar actions.
"Supervisor Dufty, who is gay, is a new father, and his roommate Rebecca Goldfader, who is a lesbian, is the mother of their newborn baby. Dufty and Goldfader are not romantically linked, but decided to have a child together, through invitro fertilization, as they both wanted to become parents and were getting older (Dufty is 51; Goldfader is 40). They will live in separate apartments in an attached duplex house; neither one has a partner yet, but if that happens, they will make the necessary room. Says Goldfader: “Actually I see Bevan and I not being a romantic couple as a benefit. A lot of straight couples have said that as well, like you don't have to deal with that whole other set of issues. Your focus is on the child.”
Make no mistake about it, Pete’s objection to two roommates having a child together has nothing to do with the sexual identification of the principals, but rather, was aimed at the notion of loveless co-parenting. Pete is in fact in favor of same-sex marriage, and even though he feels children of gay couples face special challenges in explaining the sexual orientations of their parents, he sees the chances of these children becoming successful as no different than those of children from heterosexual couples. Instead, Pete links Dufty and Goldfader in the same group as a single mother who decides she wants a child without a partner, which puts the child at a disadvantage. How will Dufty and Goldfader explain their relationship to their child? Isn’t this a careless and selfish way to have a child?"
That's KGO's official explanation. It's insane.
Look, folks: We're talking about two parents who care deeply about each other, and about their child. They're going to have a great family, and the kid's going to be loved and supported.
In fact, young Syndey's going to be so much better off than so many kids these days.
And how will Dufty and Goldfader explain their relationship? Honestly. In my son's public school, some of the kids have two moms, some have two dads, some have one mom, or a grandma .. and to the kids, it's all a big Whatever. That's the wonder of this city -- as long as the kids have a good home, nobody really cares about the gender or orientation or age of the parents.
Jesus: Many, many of my friends grew up in "traditional" households that were truly horrible. When I think of all the abuse, dysfunction and pain that I saw in a nice, clean American suburb ... it amazes me that Pete Wilson could even think this way.