Wear your heart on your boob

These blue babies equal instant blue balls.

Photo courtesy of www.FoxGoth.com

Do your tassels swing low? Do they shimmy to and fro? Spring is here and as anyone taking a casual stroll in the Castro knows, clothing is optional. The guys have been walking around without shirts since forever, so why not put out and paste up, ladies-- your rack was born to shine with red sparkles and dangling ribbons.

Walking in the Haight yesterday, a glimmering set of blue hearts poked me in the face and lured me straight into an adorable lingerie shop for closer inspection. Dollhouse Bettie [1] sports a few different pairs from the Oregon designer, Gothfox Designs [2], but these bridal satin, royal beauties are classically stunning. These pasties even come with a fancy name, "J'amie l'ocean", alluding to their oceanic inspiration.

Gothfox Designs

Skip the swimsuit and sport a nifty set of pasties for zero tan lines-- the matching trim and tassels are guaranteed to pull in a wave of looks and approvals.

With tit stickers on the brain, I checked into the featured set at Madame S [3] and was more than pleased with these "Heartbreaker Pasties." This San Francisco store makes these flattering hearts in their very own latex production lab, located just behind the storefront in the SOMA neighborhood. The tight, naughty black latex will hug your nipples and the blood red trim definitely has the power to make hearts (and organs) pound with desire.

Heartbreaker Pasties

The cup-less bra is a perfect accessory for any pair of pasties-- keeps things perky.

Scared to sport 'em under a blazer like Rihanna [4]? Wear them at home for your lover, test 'em out while vacuuming or put on a one-woman show in the mirror while you practice twirling. And if you really want to throw timid over the bridge, take the breast art for a test cruise during the SF World Naked Bike Ride [5]. I bet you'll have a hard time taking them off...and not because of the glue.