It's nice to see a couple of homegrown boys cinching their ties to their community. Dan and JD of Two Knotty Boys make some of the city's more evocative bondage scenes – scroll through the galleries on their website  for various visions of unrestrained restrained beauty, like two Manic Panic red heads impelled by the boys' handiwork to assume an intimate “cuddle.” It's this kind of imaginative use of ropes – they also do a series of “decorative bondage” in which corsets, bras, panties, and even dresses are crafted onto models by tightly pulled knots and loops – that make them the perfect teachers of the art. Couples especially are invited to their class at Good Vibrations this week (Wed/11): just remember to bring your ropes and you're bound for inspiration.
Learn how to tie in furniture, vibrators, and more to your rope bondage play in this two hour workshop by SF's good old boys, Dan and JD. The class is meant to be a serious, but humorous look at how you can aspire to the Two Knotty Boys' level of corded mastery.
Wed/11 6-8 p.m., $25-30
1620 Polk, SF
Sex Tapes for Seniors
Finally, a stage show about how those hot feelings south of of your control top don't cease when you hit 60. Mario Cossa's world premier plot takes us to Shambala Springs retirement home, where a group of sexually diverse couples are filming hot, wrinkly scenes of lust – to the chagrin of their peers and adult offspring. Not explicit by any means, the show is nonetheless a comic exploration of the bump and grind in the golden years.
Fri/13 (through Sun/22) 8 p.m., $25-40
2961 16th St., SF
San Fran Sexy Zine Launch
Before Kinky Salon takes a well deserved six week break, won't you grab your partner (or single girlfriends) and head to the party for their new printed smut, San Fran Sexy? Here's hoping it's as successful as the city's last licentious launch, the trans mag Original Plumbing. The first hour of the night celebrates the zealous zine and afterwards all the carnal cavorting the party is known for takes center stage. Ah, illiteration...
Sat/14 9 p.m., $25 members only
2519 Mission, SF
Iron Dom Contest (Updated: Correction! The Iron Dom competition is actually scheduled for Sat/20)
We've all played this game before. You're stuck on a desert island – what three things would you need to create the bondage scene of your dreams? If you're a candidate for top honors in Domina's contest this Saturday, you won't be picky – the point is to craft the best possible BDSM situation you can from what you're given in terms of props (DIY castoffs) and partner (enthusiastic, yes. Your gender/sexual proclivity of choice, possibly not). Do you have what it takes to be the next Iron Dom? Kitchen Stadium – er, the Citadel is waiting to see. All proceeds go to the Somona County AIDS Food Bank.
Sat/14 doors 2:30 p.m., contest starts 5 p.m., $20-25
1277 Mission, SF
Stroke your hand seductively over your load of love – that belly's getting you laid tonight! Particularly if you lope over to The Stud, where South Bay's hottest chubby chase session is relocating for the evening. Skinny minnies out there? Remember, the bigger they come, the harder they come. Get you a fattie, stat.
Sun/15 6 p.m.-12 a.m.,
399 Ninth St., SF
Use Your Words: Hot and Sexy Talk
Can Tina Horn talk you into sexy time? The queer BDSM porn star would sure like to try. And it's only right to let her – after all, Horn is facilitating this workshop so that you beatimous self can grab their reins of your voicebox to take your love making to new heights. It's called dirty talk, y'all: get some.
Tues/17 6-8 p.m., $25-30
1620 Polk, SF