Perhaps you recall a few weeks ago when I espoused  my love for Rihanna and slightly-less-intense love for the new music video for her song “S&M.” I'm saddened to report that the lovely RiRi is in a spot of trouble over the new reel – David LaChappelle is suing her for deriving the video's “composition, total concept, feel, tone, mood, theme, colours, props, settings, decors, wardrobe and lighting” from the fashion photog's work. Here 's a helpful guide to the similarities between the video and LaChappelle's photos.
But you know what, Violet Blue's going with RiRi  and so am I. David LaChappelle, for the love of Perez Hilton on a leash – is this video detracting from your personal worth as a pervy photog? Now you can say you made a Rihanna video and maybe people will believe you. Problem = solved! Now onto sex events. Dirty talk and sexy poetry readings, etc.
Word on the street is that sex educator-kinkster Midori's voice is like buttah, so slide on into her workshop, which focuses on that most sexy, most mind-blowing organ of all – our voice! Uh wait, that's not an organ so -- our throat! Um -- our diaphragm! Yeah, you'll need one of those, so close enough.
Weds/23 6-8 p.m., $20-25
1620 Polk, SF
The Art of Sacred BDSM
Wanna bring sacred into BDSM? Perhaps BDSM into the sacred? You are in luck because we have here a genuine shaman (who may or may not look like Melissa Joan Hart from “Clarissa Explains it All”) and a priest of love and eros who has the skillz to pay the billz in balancing the masculine and feminine in our lives. They'll perform a sacred collaring ceremony for ya, and in general encourage more feeling in your feeling.
Weds/23 7-9:30 p.m., call for price
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF
Tongue Tied poetry night
Sex is poetry. Get all those nasty limericks out of your head for good at this kink-friendly (kinda goes without saying when you're talking about the coffeeshop that hosted  a Kink.com shoot a few years back) poetry night at Wicked Grounds. Emceed by a one TheyCallMeVroom. Nice name.
Thurs/24 7-10 p.m., free
289 Eighth St., SF
Hello hetero-centric gentlemen: do you have a lovely lady who is raring to play with you and sexy strangers this weekend? Why don't you sign the two of you up for Kiss, the Mission Control play party for couples and single ladies only. Reserve your spot now – the night is reservation-only and we hear that the stripper pole at Mission Control books up fast.
Sat/26 10 p.m.-late, $70 per couple, members only
The 15 Association's Anniversary Play Party
Probably the most exclusive BDSM party going on this particular Sunday, the 15 Association will be celebrating 20 years in the male fraternity bondage business. Of course, if you're not a member you can go to the open party  on Sat/26 – but c'mon, don't you want to see what sex looks like after two whole decades of hedonistic association?
Sun/27 1-8 p.m., $20 members only
1277 Mission, SF