(Insert “saddle friction” joke here.) At the risk of sounding like an episode of Portlandia, we are stoked for the Bike Smut Film Festival , which rides in for its second SF showing in two weeks – the first took place at Bayview's Cyclecide Swearhouse last weekend – on Fri/3.
Bike smut: people having sex on bikes, sex with bikes, sex with bikes watching – surely there will be bike couplings in there somewhere (a handlebar penetrating a spoke, well greased). This incarnation of the fresh-from-touring-Europe show has an Oregon Trail theme. Yes, we know you loved that game in elementary school. You know who else did? Everyone.
Anyways, the whole shebang rolls into the art collective OffCenter on Divisadero Street this Friday, led by one-time Lusty Lady dancer and full-time bike slut Poppy Cox and that saint (as ordained by the Church of Bicycle Genius) Reverend Phil. It sounds like it's gonna be a good time.
Bike Smut Film Festival
Fri/3 7-10 p.m., $7
848 Divisadero, SF
“From the Collection of Larry Townsend” ongoing art exhibit
I was recently at the premiere of Priscilla Bertucci's [SSEX BBOX] global sexuality documentary  at the Center for Sex and Culture, but I kept looking at the walls. Not because the film wasn't rad (it was!), but because of all the amazing comic-style drawings of Roman orgies, space orgies, and orgy-orgies currently occupying the sex-positive community center's walls. I have Larry Townsend to thank for this, and you can too if you head down to the comfy library space of the Center for Sex and Culture, which is adding Townsend's treasures for a spell to its perma-exhibits of antique vibrators and shelves of queer and sex-positive literature.
Through March 30
Center for Sex and Culture
1349 Mission, SF
Hard French Winter Ball
Few nights of our lives can match the high-pitched hormonal rush that was high school prom. Outfit agony, whose-your-date torture, the shoes, the corsage – foreplay from hell, really. How could you have known that years later you'd be trying to recreate that same special freak-out with a slutty queer soul party on the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk? El Rio's favorite afternoon dance party takes to the road for the second year in a row this weekend, with Juanita More and the House of Salad drag beauties in tow (check the candidates for the ball's king and queen , adorable). Will the town of Santa Cruz be the same after tulle-and-tux-encased queers occupy the beachfront? Reserve your hotel room now and pack protection because: no.
Sat/4 7 p.m., $20-$25
400 Beach, Santa Cruz
“Bros Before Hos: Masculinity and Its Discontents” film festival
C'mon men, look at yourselves. No really – though masculinity studies is often the subject of yucks and early 1990s primal scream mock-ups, men really don't get the magnifying glass treatment when it comes to their sexuality. Not so at this film series orchestrated by YBCA – from the story of truck-lifting strong man Stanley "Stanless Steel" Pleskun to a collection of '20s-'70s stag films, the meat of menfolk (c'mon, not just that part) will be offered up as prime conversation-starters. Today, a look at boundary-pushing filmmaker Bob Mizer of the Athletic Model Guild.
Festival runs through Feb. 26, $8/screening
Sat/4, 7:30 p.m.: The Golden Age of the American Male: Films From Bob Mizer’s Legendary Athletic Model Guild
Yerba Buena Center for the Arts
701 Mission, SF
Good Vibes' “Ask Our Docs: Intro to Anal Play”
It's okay not to know about anal sex, Good Vibrations says. So okay, in fact, that the sex toy company is offering this completely free primer on how to get primed, taught by Charles Glickman, that man-about-sex-education-classes-in-town.
Tue/7 7-8 p.m., free
3219 Lakeshore, Oakl.