Save a kitten: Look goofy for Jesus

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By Juliette Tang

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According to the "Passion for Christ Movement," or P4CM, "We want you to rock it, but you better have confidence. People will be clowning on you. If you walk into a 7-11, people will be joking and snickering, and you almost want to direct it to those people, telling them, 'You're all laughing, but probably cuz you're all still masturbating."

Is public humiliation really the cure for masturbation? Because we know that after your mom caught you masturbating that one time under the sheets, you completely stopped masturbating cold turkey. Riiiiight. Isn't it enough that every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten and an angel loses his wings? No, not according to P4CM, the masturbation experts:

More hilarious shirts after the jump:


Ex-homosexual. How sad. "I went all the way to Gay and all I got was this stupid t-shirt."


Ex-Hypocrite. This girl is a hypocrite if I've ever seen one. I know that's not Christian Rock on your iPod.


Ex-fornicator. Uh oh, I fornicate with my exes all the time. Ugh. Why can't I stop having ex-sex? It's not my fault I sent those late night text messages I swear! It's the stupid devil juice I drink at the sinful neighborhood bar.


Ex-Hustler. Hey look, it's Jesus! Don't feel so bad about yourself -- Jesus was an ex-hustler too.