Ask a Porn Star: Privacy issues, small penises

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In which super sexy porn people answer questions -- each week -- from Bay Area locals. View the last installment here.
Mediated by Justin Juul

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Fielding your questions this month is local celebrity, Lorelei Lee. Lee specializes in fetish porn (water torture, whips-n-chains, electrocution, etc.) and has a blossoming side-career as a writer. Check out some of her movies/pics here and then stop into The Makeout Room on Valentines Day (02/14/09) to hear her read at Writers With Drinks.

Michelle M: Are you ever concerned about your privacy?

Lorelei Lee: I’m not exactly sure what aspect of my privacy this question is meant to refer to. I’m not that famous. I mean, no one (to my knowledge) is searching through my garbage or anything, although I do occasionally get recognized in the grocery store or at a bar or walking down the street.

Sometimes people will come up to me and say hello or stutter something endearingly unintelligible. Often, people will say, “you look so familiar,” but they won’t be able to remember why they recognize me. They’ll ask me if I’m “on television” and I’ll say, “Sort of.” Recently I was leaving a BART station and a boy riding by on his skateboard actually fell down on the sidewalk and shouted, “Holy shit!” I was startled and looked at him, and he said, “Uh… you’ve been in movies, haven’t you?” I couldn’t help but laugh. I shook his hand and said, “nice to meet you,” and he kind of stumbled off in the other direction.

Sometimes people won’t approach me, but will write to me on the Internet later saying they saw me somewhere. I’m actually fascinated by the things that people write to me when veiled with the anonymity that the Internet provides. I get a lot of e-mails from people who want to talk in detail about their sex lives, their romantic relationships, or even just their lives in general.

The only time it gets a little trickier for me is when people who know me see me in a “mainstream” magazine or on television. Last January, FOX News decided to cover the AVN awards and aired a red-carpet interview that I did. It was on the national news on a Sunday morning and about half of my aunts and uncles saw it, as well as my stepfather. My mother has known about my job for many years, but it was news to the rest of my family. The fallout was a bit difficult to navigate.

Jason W: I have a small penis, would you laugh at me if I pulled my pants down after seeing huge ones all day? [Ed Note: We received many, many questions that had to do with penis size -- we hope this one reps them all.]

Lee: Of course I wouldn’t laugh at you. Are you kidding? If there is anything I’ve learned from my job, it’s that a person’s physical anatomy has very little to do with how much fun you can have in bed together. Also, there are many reasons why a small penis can be a good thing.

First, the majority of those giant penises that you see in porn are not fun to have sex with. When I get on set with a guy with a thirteen-inch cock, I’m like, “oh Jesus, how is this going to work?” It usually takes a lot of patience and deep breathing.

Second, while I sometimes enjoy the feeling of a lot of penetration (a feeling that can be achieved just as easily with toys or hands), penetration in itself is not what makes me orgasm. This is true, I think, for most women. I get the most turned on by sex that is creative and dynamic – I like dirty talk, attentive touching, oral sex, and finger penetration much more than simply being pounded by a large appendage. I mean, I like penises, but I think there is this myth that heterosexual sex is supposed to begin and end with the cock. There’s just so much more to it. I think that whole big-cock mythology is pretty silly.

*Local writer/porn performer Stephen Boyer will be answering your questions next month. Check out his stuff and then

Comments

All well and good, Ernie -- and your Web site seems to be supportive -- but you're also pimping:

"Penis Enlargement Techniques: What Works, and What Doesn’t". It includes how to enlarge your own penis yourself, safely and naturally using "NAPET"-natural penis enlargement technique.

So it's a bit of a crock, innit?

Posted by Marke B. on Feb. 10, 2009 @ 10:11 am

Kudos to Lorelei Lee for expressing her views on penis size so candidly. It had to take some courage, because in porn movies the female stars act as though they are in ecstacy at just the sight of a huge penis. Their moans when penetrated are supposedly sounds of lust and pleasure, but may well be more indicative of pain.

Other porn stars have said, in interviews, that they enjoy their private sex so much more than in the filming scenes because they don't have to engage in the weird contortions that they sometimes are positioned in before the camera.

Lorelei could be talking to soothe concerns of her fans because she knows most guys have smaller penises than male porn stars. But her comments have the ring of sincerity as well as making common sense.

It's a welcome opinion because the porn industry has undoubtedly contributed to the widespread dissatisfaction that so many men have with their own penis size. They look at porn stars' monster penises, and they feel inadequate. Combine this with our whole society being full of messages that bigger is better in every phase of life--and you have a whole lot of self conscious men. Similar to women's dissatisfaction with their own body image, particularly their concern about breast size. Hence the penis enlargement industry peddling pills and weights to enlarge the penis. Urologists and reputable doctors repeatedly confirm that these nostrums don't work and can be dangerous. The peddlers thrive anyway. Concern about size has created what's called "small penis syndrome" where a guy may feel his penis is too small even when it's in an average range in size. This concern, or even obsession can lead to behaviour modification that is destructive. Check out 14 subtle ways that small penis syndrome can be destructive at smallpenisgreatlover.com
The site also offers material on using sexual skills rather than size to please and satify a woman sexually--just as Lorelei Lee explains is the best way to go.

Ernie Coyne
info@smallpenisgreatlover.com

Posted by Ernie Coyne on Feb. 10, 2009 @ 8:02 am

Hi, I'm thinking of having lengthening and widening. i don't have any psychological issues or anything, i would just love to have a big penis. at the moment, mine's about average in length and girth. I've spoken to the doctor and expected size post-op sounds like it'll be a bit over 7 inches and about 6-7 inches in girth/circumference. i'm thinking of requesting that the girth expansion be less than this. I'm worried that i may end up with a penis which is too large to be pleasurable to a female partner. what's yr opinion? you said 13 inch penises aren't so fun, but what about longer than average (about 7.5 inches) and about 6-7 inches in girth? what's your opinion of the perfect penis size (ignoring other factors such as whether they have a sexy personality or are good at oral sex etc). thanks

Posted by richy on Mar. 29, 2009 @ 1:28 am

So would u lick 2 fuck me Lorelei Lee

Posted by Scott on Aug. 12, 2009 @ 3:11 pm