Cruising Craigslist: This week's best personals

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Each week, Justin Juul combs the SF Craigslist Personals and Missed Connections for true gems that prove there's enough love for everyone. View his last installment here.

poopsexa.jpg

Remember back in grade-school when you would compete with your friends to see who could make the thickest, longest, or craziest shit? It was a great pastime, but there was always that all-star kid who’d ruin it for everyone by going the extra mile. Like, he’d eat nothing but almonds and vanilla pudding for a month to make his shit white or he’d steal his grandma’s enema kit to make a poo-cano. With that kind of dedication there was just no beating the guy so, if you’re anything like us, you probably just moved on. You graduated high school, went to college, got a job, etc.

We’re all happy and content in our adult lives now, of course. [Ed Note: Ha.] But don’t you sometimes wish you’d kept at it and learned some of the tricks that seemed to come so naturally to your friend? Just imagine how much better your sex life could be!

Well, it’s never too late to start. And it’s easy too. Just jump on Craigslist and get to mingling. If you look hard enough, you might even be able to track down and re-challenge your ex poo-nemesis. Just brace yourself. You won’t believe the type of shit he’s into these days.

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Seeking a Toilet Partner - m4w (mission district)
Reply to: [redacted]
Date: 2009-02-03, 7:05AM PST
I’m seeking a woman who shares my arousal with toilet games. I seek a woman who shares the pleasure of dirty sex. Dirty sex can be warm shit on your pussy while I bring you to orgasm with my mouth, massaging your breasts with my shit while I kiss you, your hand on my hard cock while your golden juice flows towards my mouth, etc. Playing in the bathroom or playing in the bedroom, we smell of dirty sex together. I want more than your squirt. I want your piss. I want your scat sex. I want your needs for kink.
I want to explore more than I have. I want to share more than I have. I want to be taught. I want to teach. I was to be asked. I want to ask. I want to have good straight sex. I want good messy sex.
This is something I want to add to my life, more than just a desire or an occasional pleasure.

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Bi Slut Wants to be Used as a Toilet by a Young, Dominant Guy - 25
Reply to: [redacted]
Date: 2009-02-03, 9:50PM PST
I'm looking for a young, good-looking, dominant guy to come over. Just walk in, push me to the ground, squat over me, and piss and shit/scat in my mouth. Sex is optional

You can even bring another girl to watch you do it.

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Scat Bottom Seeking Feeder - 61 (Your place in SF)
Reply to: [redacted]
Date: 2009-02-04, 7:37PM PST

I'm really horny to get my tongue into a man's dirty hole and take whatever he gives me. Need to drink from the tap before and after. Be HWP and DDF; prefer HIV- if you want to fuck me. Me: 61, 5ft8in, 7inches cut, 165 lbs, hairy. You: be total top ready to piss and dump in my mouth.

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U Need to Shit?
Date: 2009-02-02, 4:28PM PST
Reply to: [redacted]
Hungry to eat. Cute guy. Very discreet. Gotta go?

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Piss/Shit Play for Mature - m4m - 33 (concord / pleasant hill / martinez)
Reply to: [redacted]
Date: 2009-02-03, 10:07PM PST

Looking for an older man to use me in some of the ways described below:

1. Watch as I shit on your cock and blow you.
2. Piss on me, make me piss on myself.
3. Give me a nice big enema and watch as I expel it on myself in the bath.
4. Tie me up and edge me while doing any of the above.

If you're into it all, great. If you're only into one or two of the activities, fine, we can make it work. I know most people are not into shit play so that can be left out if I don't get any better offers.

I am tall, in shape, masculine and uncut. You will need to pick me up and take me to your place for this.

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Submissive Toilet Bowl Mouth for Dominant Top Scat Feeder - 42 (San Jose North)
Reply to: [redacted]
Date: 2009-02-04, 7:43PM PST
This perverted sexy GWM pig bottom is looking for a nasty top scat feeder (any race) to come over, sit on my rim seat and drop some shit logs in my nasty toilet bowl mouth. Please be under 35, HWP, DDF and HIV neg. More details via email. Local South Bay guys or guys willing to come to South Bay only. Straight men especially welcome.

*Bonus Poo Event: Deja Poo, SF’s best shit-themed art show, is looking for artists again (see last year’s review here). So check out http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/ats/1024085260.html " target="blank_">the new ad (posted on Craigslist, of course) and get to work on some shit!

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