By Molly Freedenberg
Vau de Vire heats up Cosmic Love Ball this weekend.
It seemed perfect. When you and your partner met last summer, you agreed you both hate to celebrate Valentine's Day. But as the holiday approaches, you're starting to sense that one of you might not be as satisfied with a Saturday night of TV dinners and missionary sex - you know, the same old same old -- as previously suggested. If you want your morning BJ on Sunday, you realize, you're going to have to start planning and shopping. Fast.
That's where we come in. We've compiled a list of (even more) sexy events and creative gift ideas to get -- and keep -- your honey in the mood. And if you're single? Perhaps these ideas will help you meet someone you can lie to next year about hating the holidays.
Bawdy Storytelling JellyFish Gallery, 1286 Folsom. Feb. 11, 7-11pm, $5-$15. The series celebrates its second year with a "Coitus Interruptus" themed evening: tales of prurient cessation and carnal comebacks, featuring host Dixie De La Tour, Tim Barsky, Kirk Read, Cathy Goerz, Leo Petropolis, and more. Bring your own bottle.
Cosmic Love Ball 2: Silver & Skin CELLSPACE, 2050 Bryant. www.starsapphire.org.
Feb. 14, 9pm, $10-$15. Star Sapphire, in conjunction with Vau de Vire Society, presents this funky, festive event, featuring performances by Materialized, Vau de Vire dancers, and aerialists; live body painting; and beats by DJs from Green Gorilla, Space Cowboys, and more. Dress up!
Fuck Love, We Want Money The Uptown, 1928 Telegraph, Oakl. (510) 451-8100, www.uptownnightclub.com. Feb. 13, 9pm, $10. Black Widows Burlesque, San Francisco's original gothic strip revue, sexes it up (and maybe scares the shit out of you) bloody Valentine's style.
Lucky Love 13 Anon Gallery, 285 9th St. www.anonsalon.com. Feb. 13, 9pm, donations welcome. Join the folks responsible for Sea of Dreams (and a host of other kickass parties) for a red and black ball.
Post-Valentine's Poetry Books & Bookshelves, 99 Sanchez. Feb 15, 7pm, free and BYOB. Treat your V-Day hangover with a little hair of the romance dog: Valentine's Day songs and poems from Alex Cory, Jay Dillamuth, Kevin Killian, Rebecca Bella, Brice Hobbs, Adam DeGraff, Genevieve George, Emily Howard, Micah Ballard and Sunny Lyn Thibodeax, David Highsmith and more.
GIFTS AND DEALS
Dinner for 2 at Pasta Pomodoro All locations, www.pastapommodoro.com. Feb.13-15. You don't have to break the bank to please your V-Day partner. The Italian eatery is offering a $49 dinner special for couples all weekend, including an entree, appetizer, dessert, plate of crostini, and glass of Prosecco.
Beauty and the Beast and a feast Foreign Cinema, 2534 Mission. 648-7600, www.foreigncinema.com. Feb. 14, 5:30-10pm. $85. OK, so it's not exactly cheap, but you'll get lots of value out of this special evening at the Mission, which includes a screening of the 1946 version of Beauty and the Beast and live music as well as delicious food.
Send a valentine to your body Cocoon Urban Day Spa, 330 1st St., SF. 777-0100. Not only is the stylish day spa and yoga center giving special discounts and incentives on spa packages, including couple's massage, through the weekend, but they're celebrating Bush's departure from office with a 10 percent discount on Brazilian waxes all month. What could be more romantic?
Chocolate and absinthe 505-0786, www.ediblelove.com. Think chocolate and flowers is the sexiest V-Day gift combo? Think again. Edible Love offers their organic, fair-trade truffles as well as four flavors of absinthe (packaged in gorgeous bottles with old-school stoppers) in honor of the holiday of coupling. But hurry - orders must be in by tomorrow (Thursday, the 12th). Call or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Turning up the heat The Culinary Salon, 16a/b Sanchez. 626-4379, www.theculinarysalon.com. Various dates and prices. Dating a foodie? Try to snag a spot at Chef Joe's Aphrodisiac cooking class on Saturday. Or gift your gastronomically-gifted sweetie with a certificate to an upcoming class like Knife Skills, Companion Dishes, or Mediterranean Cooking (which is discounted through March).