Cruising Craigslist: This week’s best personals


Each week, Justin Juul combs the SF Craigslist Personals and Missed Connections for true gems that prove there's enough love for everyone. View his last installment here.


Here’s what’s gonna happen. I’m going to get home from work, make a grilled cheese sandwich, and then smoke cigarettes and complain about my boss for two hours while you check your email and pretend to listen. Then I’m going to force you to watch a movie we’ve both seen before. About half way through it, I’ll say something like “Hey baby, this shit’s boring. Can we please do something else?” I’ll turn off the television, grab some water, and head into the bedroom. You will hesitate for a moment and then decide to follow me. When you get into the bedroom, you will immediately remove your sweatpants. Then you’ll jump under the covers and grab a book. “Hey baby,” I’ll whisper. “Can you please stop turning the pages so fast? I’m super tired.” You will give me an irritated look and then turn out the light. We will sleep together all night long and then go to work in the morning.

Sound familiar?

If you’ve ever been in a monogamous relationship, then your answer is probably “yes.” Of course, it’s not so boring every night –sometimes you stay up until sunrise having wild, drunken sex, and sometimes you go on vacation and do naughty things you thought only porn stars were capable of. But more often than not, the reality of your day-to-day sex life is probably about as thrilling as a trip to the DMV (well, hopefully a little better than that). No big deal. That’s what fantasies are for.

Sexual fantasies come in all shapes and sizes, but there is one fantasy that seems to stand out, at least in San Francisco, and that’s rape. Some of the following Craigslist cruisers want to abuse you and some of them want to be abused. Just don’t take any of their words too seriously. These people (probably) aren’t real rapists or wannabe victims. They’re just regular folks like you and me who occasionally yearn for a break from their routines. Thank god for Craigslist for providing a safe outlet! And thank god for the human brain. If it wasn’t such a mischievous and randy sex organ, personal ads would sound like my intro paragraph, we’d never have exciting sex, and this job would be a whole lot harder!


Rape - m4w - 30 (Santa Clara)
Reply to: [redacted]
Date: 2009-02-15, 9:25PM PST

We've just gotten back to my place for a drink. I open the door and let you walk in ahead of me. I show you around and then offer you a seat before getting up to fix a few drinks. As I'm mixing them, you politely ask if you may use the restroom. “Down the hall, first door on your left,” I reply. Once I hear the bathroom door close, I put down the drinks and deadbolt the front door before walking towards the bathroom. You're sitting on the toilet, panties around your knees and before you have a chance react, you see the door handle turn and the door swing open and close immediately after I barge in. You try to get up and into a better position to defend yourself, but before you can, I force myself on top of you and keep you pinned on the toilet. I grab one of your hands (clenched around a strip of toilet paper) and push it down between your legs and force you to wipe yourself clean before pulling your hand back up and pulling it behind your back and pinning it there between your back & the toilet seat. I push my hand back between your legs and start massaging your clit.

You're squirming and trying to break free but I'm just too strong for you. I shove two of my fingers inside you and start kissing you. You start squirming you're trying to shift your weight, I push back and send the two of us tumbling off the toilet seat and into the bathtub. I come down on top of you and immediately start pulling your shirt up over your head - but making sure to keep your arms in the sleeves so that I can pull the shirt down behind your back, pinning your arms at your sides. I rip your bra off and start squeezing & sucking your titties. Your face has gone red with shock and you're starting to tear're begging me to stop. Before you can start to scream I put my hand across your mouth and pull your head back sharply by your hair. You feel your neck sting momentarily. I whisper in your ear, “Don't try anything stupid or I'll fuck you want to leave here looking as pretty as you did were when you showed up, don't you????”

You're frozen with fear but the look in your eyes tells me that you understand what I said and don't want to get hurt. I undo my belt and pull my pants down before straddling your face, using my knees to pin your shoulders against the wall in the bathtub. I grab your head and tell you to open your mouth. You hesitate until you feel me pull your hair harder and give you a menacing look. You open your mouth and I shove my cock in it. I start fucking your face slowly, asking you how you like my cock....all I can hear is you whimpering so I ask louder. “How do you like sucking my cock???” Still whimpering, you gently nod your head up and down to let me know that you do.

I'm starting to moan and fucking your face a little harder & a little faster. You struggle not to gag as you feel my cock hitting the back of your throat. You start crying even harder as I tell you how I'm going to put my cock in all your holes tonight and that you're going to be my little whore and that by the time the sun comes up, I'm going to have made your pussy & ass a sticky cum-filled mess. This goes on for what you think is another 10 or 20 minutes. But you're not completely sure. You're neck is starting to get tired and your chin is sore from my balls slapping into it harder & harder. You can feel my cock swelling in your mouth until you're nearly choking on it before I finally blow my load as I'm pulling out of your mouth, making sure to spread some of my cum around the inside of your mouth and the rest of it all over your face. Then I rub my cock & balls all over your face until I've spent every last little bit of cum. I pull your shirt all the way off, freeing up your arms and rip off your pants & underwear off before turning on the shower head, soaking the two of us & our clothes completely. The entire time I'm grabbing you by your head.
After we're good & soaked, I grab you and pull you behind me, out of the bathroom and into my bedroom, throwing you down on the bed and landing on top of you. You feel me pull your arms behind your back and use something (what it is you're not sure) to bind your wrists together.

“You and me are going to have some fun...lots of fun,” you hear me say. You continue crying, trying to mute it as much as you can, out of fear. But you're unable to completely hide your tears & your whimpering.
If you'd like to know what happens next, get back to me with a picture & a little about yourself and I'll do the same.
I'm white, safe & clean, sane, drug & disease free, dominant & aggressive, have a huge cock and want to see this fantasy become a reality.
Reply and let's make this happen.

I Have Some Fantasies Can You Help? - w4m - 20 (SOMA / south beach)
Reply to: [redacted]
Date: 2009-02-15, 2:32PM PST

I have several fantasies that I want fulfilled (listed below). Tell me how you will fulfill them and I will get back with you on how we can make it happen! You must be very descriptive or I will delete you. If you email me with “lets do this,” or just a pic, I will delete you. I am 5'4 110lbs long red hair and blue eyes. I am drug and disease free you will be as well. Thanks.

1st Fantasy: I want someone to come to my house while I am sleeping at night and ravage me. All the while, I will think that you are my husband.

2nd Fantasy: I want you be a construction worker at my house. I am being shitty to you and after a while you decide that you have had enough of my mouth and decide to put me in my place.

3rd Fantasy: I would like for you and your buddy to be my potential bosses at a new job I am applying for. The two of you will decide to see how far I will go in order to get the job.

4th Fantasy: I would like to be your maid and your wife has to go out of town and you are hornier than all get out. So late at night, while I’m in the shower you come in to rape me but find after a few minutes that I quite enjoy it.


I want to Rape the Shit Out of You - m4w - 23 (dublin / pleasanton / livermore)
Reply to: [redacted]
Date: 2009-02-15, 12:45AM PST

You're taking a jog late night down the creek path when you hear something in the bushes not to far away. Most cases you would just ignore and keep jogging but this time you get curious and decide to check it out. A strange man places his hand over your mouth and the other slides up your chest playing with your hard nipples through whatever you're wearing. Use your imagination for the rest.
If you're interested, hit me up, pic for a pic. Can also be done in a park or downtown in an alleyway.

Help this TS fulfill her RAPE FANTASY - t4m - 50 (union square- SF)
Reply to: [redacted]
Date: 2009-02-16, 12:01PM PST

I am a sexy submissive older bottom TS. I have tits from hormones and my own long hair -not a wig. I have had this following fantasy for many years and need help fulfilling it....

I am lying facedown on my bed in a mini-without a bra or panties. The door is unlocked and I am pretending to be asleep. You (a hot/hard/horny man) and ALL of your male friends come into the room and lock the door. I whimper in my sleep. My hot full ass wiggles on the bed. One or more of you grab me, cover my mouth with your hand(s) and all of u begin to rape my ass, one after the other, or taking turns, however u want.

I struggle and whimper and cry to no avail. You also force your cocks in my mouth and down my throat. You all use me till u are all spent, using as much force as u want to on me. I pretend to struggle and resist the whole time, but secretly I love every minute of it. Beat me. Rape my mouth, throat, and ass. Cover and fill every one of my holes and my whole body with yr cum. Spit on me, call me names, and in the end drag me to the bathroom where u all piss on me. Then you all just leave, shutting the door behind, leaving me covered in spit and cum and piss. All my holes filled with it too.

Men that seriously apply pls send a pic and description and contact info and I'll send u mine. Also, let me know if u have male friends u will bring and how many. I am available to do this Mon, Wed, and Friday between noon and seven pm.

Sleepy Fantasy - m4w - 26 (SF bay area)
Reply to: [?]
Date: 2009-02-18, 2:28AM PST

Well, here goes. I'm curious if there is a lady that enjoys or has an interest in doing a sleepy/pass out fantasy? So perhaps you get knocked out easily from being too tired or too drunk? Or perhaps you are interested to do a night invasion scene? These are a few examples of what this type of fantasy is like. No sex is involved, as I just want to admire your body while you're out. Again this is for those who are interested in this kind of role-play fantasy. If you have any questions let me know. No couples or anyone married please.