Peepshow: Gay porn for spring

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Each week Justin Juul highlights a rad upcoming local sexy event

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Who Have you ever seen that movie where the guy pulls out his dick and rubs it on some other guy’s face and then another guy comes in and he’s like “Hey there buddies, can I get me summa dat?!” Or no, wait! How about the one where the guy is sitting in the sauna at 24 Hour fitness just minding his own business, reading the paper, and then another guy comes up and he’s like “Fancy a blowjob, sir?” Those movies were great! Someone should set up an awards show for all the people involved in making them, don’t you think? They could charge tons of money for admission, throw tailgate parties in The Castro, and invite that dude from Ugly Betty to perform stand up comedy. Maybe Margaret Cho could come too. Just a thought.

What It’s funny when you go to a family reunion after living in San Francisco for a number of years because it quickly becomes obvious that everyone back home thinks you’re gay (dirty looks at your veggie burgers, jokes about your skinny pants, etc). It’s funny because they have a point. I mean, how can you not have at least a pinch of sugar in your tank when your city’s spring kickoff includes the The GAYVN Awards --a two-day bash honoring the best rim jobs, snoodles, and all male gang-bangs to have happened on film during the previous year—and you find yourself getting all excited about it? You know you’re really becoming a San Franciscan when you slip off to smoke a joint with your cousin and you casually say something like “Dude, I really fucked up betting on ‘The Porne Ultimatum’ this year. I mean, obviously ‘Ass Cruisin’’ is gonna win best picture. That last splooge scene was off the hook, dontya think?” You’ll both laugh it off afterward, but he’ll never want to be alone with you again. His loss!

Where The Castro Theatre (429 Castro ST, SF). Tickets ($95-195).

When Tailgate Parties at Various Bars in The Castro: Friday, March 27. Award Show: Saturday, March 28. 7:00-9:30pm.

Why Because we’re all part gay.