Cruising Craigslist: Muses, models, and art sluts

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Each week, Justin Juul combs the SF Craigslist Personals and Missed Connections for true gems that prove there's enough love for everyone. View his last installment here

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"Fancy a threesome?"

It’s weird when you have one of those crazy jobs that lets you work from your laptop because, after a while, you really do begin to lose touch with whatever lies beyond the cafes, bars, and dining patios in your comfy little art hood. And I’m not talking about that weird alien feeling you get when you go back to Iowa or Michigan for the holidays. No. All it really takes to get a sense for how uh, queer, you’ve become is to take a little trip to Union Square. I mean, the ads for soda pop and fast food are enough to make you puke right off the bat. But dude, what’s up with the luxury industry? Fancy-pants Romanian guys with five-o-clock shadows hawking Rolexes, scrawny chicks with waxy skin pumping hair-care products and denim, David Beckham, Jessica Simpson?! Are these people really supposed to represent the pinnacle of beauty and success? Are they supposed embody what we want to fuck and/or be? Seriously…can you imagine how bad it would suck to hang out with one of these idiots or --even worse-- one of their painfully normal admirers?

Obviously, you can. That’s why you holed up in the Mission (or the Lower Haight, or Oakland, or wherever) and that’s why you never go downtown until you have to get your MacBook serviced or buy some crack. It’s also why The Bay Area stands out –parts of it at least—as a hothouse for new beauty ideals. There’s the whips-n-chains bondage set in SoMa, the hula-hooping fire-eaters in The Haight, the buff dudes with Canadian tuxedos in The Castro, and of course, the coveted “super sexy artist type” you find in galleries, museums, and dive bars throughout the city. We all want one of those, right? The problem is that there simply aren’t enough of them to go around. And then of course there’s the flipside: artsy types actually have a hard time finding love themselves because everyone’s too intimidated to ask for a date. No worries. That’s what Craigslist is for.

Bhutan Exhibit - Asian Art Museum (from Tuesday) - w4m (downtown / civic / van ness)
Reply to: [Redacted]
Date: 2009-04-01, 8:41PM PDT
Hello. This is a total shot in the dark, but it's worth a try. We were both looking through the Bhutan exhibit by ourselves, but we kept crossing paths. I said something when we were looking at the Phurbas like "these are really amazing!" We kept looking at each other but didn't talk besides that. You have long, dark beautiful hair, and quiet, soft brown eyes. I had my hair pulled back and was wearing a brown top and jeans. I didn't see you again after I sat down for a few. I'm curious about you.

Hot girl with long brown hair and a great ass - m4w - 23 (New Montgomery)
Reply to: [Redacted]
Date: 2009-04-07, 1:16AM PDT
You came out of Academy of Art and used someone’s lighter and walked off. I had the pleasure of walking behind you for the rest of the block. Then I turned. [I just want you to know] this handsome black guy thinks you're hot!

You were wearing a blue top and blue jeans. I think you might’ve had sunglasses too.

Help a bored artist - m4w - 24 (anywhere)
Reply to: [Redacted]
Date: 2009-03-25, 10:34PM PDT
I am a design student that loves to draw. I'm looking to draw something a little more interesting than landscapes, buildings, or the occasional live model we get in studio that is never that pleasing to the eye. So here's what I'm asking. I'm looking for some lovely ladies to send me some more, lets say, erotic pictures I could sketch from; nude, partial nude, costume, whatever, make it interesting. I'd be happy to send you my drawings when I'm done. Help a bored artist.

Berkeley Artist - 56 (Berkeley north / hills)
Reply to: [Redacted]
Date: 2009-04-09, 1:51AM PDT
Berkeley Artist, 56. Own home in Sonoma Co. Am currently working as a teacher in Special Education in CoCoCo.Live near UC Campus.
Published author, pianist, painter, love to dance. Yoga and swimming. Love cats. Prefer the country to the city, but my job has brought me to the E.Bay. Would like to find someone for walks, wine, dancing, roses.

Perhaps you are artistic as well, enjoy some of the smaller pleasures of the good life and know how to live as a frugalista.

No cigarettes. Very 420 friendly. Have no interest in organized, competitive sports. Do not own a TV. Replies only with weight and picture will get my response.

I am 5'-9" and 175#.

In the Asian Art Museum - m4w (downtown / civic / van ness)
Reply to: [Redacted]
Date: 2009-04-01, 2:56PM PDT
Seeking lovely woman with red hair. I lost you after our brief encounter in the Bhutan exhibit at the Asian Art Museum, on Friday, March 27th. We talked about the Divine Madman. If this is you, reply with a message... the password will be either (1) what you did 10 years ago, or (2) who you were with. I'd like to see you again.

Anyone for entering the film contest - m4ww (sf)
Reply to: [Redacted]
Date: 2009-03-29, 3:39AM PDT
The Good Vibrations 2009 Indie Erotic Film Fest -deadline June 30 $1500 grand prize (equal split). I'm an audio/video engineer, video producer, musician, and artist type. I've got a couple drafts for this, which must be 10 minutes or less. My screenplay is pretty original I believe, and I'm wide open to changes. Someone, more than one woman out there has to want to act in a film - and get a chance at the cash prize. Also get a chance to express your creativity.

Smart slim man sought by glkg writer/artist - 61
Reply to: [Redacted]
Date: 2009-04-07, 9:25AM PDT
Writer, artist, independent researcher/archivist wants to connect with an unaffected slender sexy man with a literary/artistic/intellectual bent. Grad student, gardener, undergraduate, professor, carpenter, janitor, cab driver, tourist, unemployed poet or painter: whatever you do or are, you are a nonconformist at heart, but may not look it from the outside. Maybe you’re shy or a loner, or maybe you’re utterly immersed socially or professionally. In any case, you want a private place to get away now and then, to relax, unwind, enjoy some affable and sympathetic attention and appreciation. I am looking for someone to explore mind and body with in a private way, to share my experience(s) with, but also to learn from. If you are looking for a sugar daddy, I'm definitely not the one; but of course I would wine and dine you at home, home being a comfortable, roomy, private, and central SF apartment, lined with books, art, and curiosities. Easily reached on BART/Muni.
I have a full head of dark brown hair going salt and pepper; blue eyes, clean-shaven, glasses. GWM, 6ft, 175#, HIV-, handsome. I still feel young at 61. I’m literate, (over?) educated, traveled, art-minded. An unrepentant idealist disguised as an unrepentant cynic; an incognito nonconformist. Down-to-earth, unaffected, former (and possibly future) expatriate. Politically anarcho-leftist, but not an activist. I can be socially adept, but like my solitude.
As far as sex goes, you can be anything from a virgin to an experienced exotic sensualist. I’m into safe only, but oral, anal, all the body is good. Top, bottom, whatever suits you. I would be happy to focus on your pleasure alone if that’s what you want. In any case, your enjoyment will be my enjoyment. This can be a one-time thing, or an occasional or regular gig. I am generally attracted to slim guys in the twenty-ish to thirties range with hair on their head and none to light to moderate hair elsewhere; but I am open to suggestions. You can be preppy, punk, cool, square, geek or hippy, just be clean and honest. Sending some kind of recent picture of yourself or body expedites matters. I am HIV negative (recently tested) and prefer you to be.

Uber Cool - w4mm (richmond / seacliff)
Reply to: [Redacted]
Date: 2009-03-23, 7:54AM PDT
Performance artist, icon and multimedia teacher at FIDM seeks men who like group/sex/art scenes. I am into the Pagan lifestyle, casting spells, strange gods, geeks, alternative art, deviant sex and power games.
You appreciate Goth, Industrial, multiple tattoos and piercing, the Power House, chaos and the dark side. You are horny, aggressive enough to pursue me with vigor. Feel free to stop by the school to check me out. Flirt with me, whisper to me, brush against me. Let me know you mean business. No shy little boys need apply. I need real men to fulfill me.

Like boys in eyeliner? Teach me how to apply it! - 19 (USF / panhandle)
Reply to: [Redacted]
Date: 2009-03-29, 1:32AM PDT
I'm an attractive, intelligent, and deliciously eccentric young man in San Francisco. Having discovered that eyeliner totally fits my somewhat dark, alternative style of dressing (not to mention I've been told I look fucking hawt while wearing it), I've decided that I'd like to incorporate eye makeup into my image.
Problem is, I really fail at applying it. So, I thought, "Hey, maybe there's an attractive, in intelligent, and deliciously eccentric young woman in San Francisco who might have fun educating a clueless male in the art of cosmetics". And who knows, maybe we could cuddle and make out, too. Yeah, I'm blunt.

Any artistic women need a nude male model? - 40
Reply to: [Redacted]
Date: 2009-04-04, 8:26AM PDT
So, this will sound weird, but I'm a very professional and reliable 40-year old SWM who has never modeled before. However, to be honest, I'd love to try modeling nude for a woman artist, painter, or photographer. It's a fantasy of mine.

I promise that I'd be totally professional and responsible about the whole thing, and I wouldn't be looking for anything other than the experience of modeling for you. I'd also pay you $100.

Please let me know if you're interested. BTW, I'm handsome, in good-shape, and I'm a nice guy. I've just always had a fantasy about trying this.

You can practice with me -- and amateurs are fine!

Hope to meet you.

Me: I teach, but am an active art painter and a photographer as well. I'm 57, in good shape, active. I have an omnivorous curiosity, have traveled a lot and have lived abroad twice. I've got Middle-Eastern looks and a beard. I like starting off as activity partners and seeing what develops.

Shy Artist seeks Rocker/Skater - 22 (san mateo)
Reply to: [Redacted]
Date: 2009-04-04, 7:06PM PDT
I'm a shy, sweet, creative guy; once I get comfortable with you, you'll find me hilarious. I enjoy reading, writing stories, listening to loud music, window-shopping, gaming, and watching movies, especially anime. I currently work part-time at an art supply store, and go to school. I am a top, but am open to switching roles sometimes.

I am looking for a cute rocker guy who is young and stylish (no older than 23, I may make some exceptions, but the point is that you are still young and exciting), slim or in shape, who wants a serious relationship. You should be outgoing with lots of ideas of what to do for fun, because I am on the shy side and I need encouragement to come out of my shell.

If interested, please write me with your name, age, and location, and something about yourself that would give me a good idea of who you are. Picture required for response, as I have posted mine.

Creative Partner - 32 (mission district)
Reply to:[Redacted]
Date: 2009-04-08, 10:06AM PDT
I am really looking to find a new art buddy and possibly find someone special..
I have the space to create and hoping to find someone to collaborate with.
I know this city has ton's of Women Artist's, so let's start some working together
and build a relationship and see where it goes.

I will send you a pic for pic, but for now I will post some of my art.

Hope to find an amazing creative female to work with soon!

My artwork takes on many styles so don't hold me to just these images, ok. But most of it does have a little darkness and cuteness to it.

Bye

*Be sure to check out Claudia Tennyson’s Craigslist-themed art show, “Missed Connection: Souvenirs of Brief Encounters” this weekend at Climate Theater. Check out our write-up here.