By Molly Freedenberg
The G Twist in unintimidating Target/K-Mart blue...
I am a lazy masturbator. I blame it on the fact that I started so young (and so long before I connected masturbation to sexuality) that I've gotten too attached to, and too good at, my dependable 25-year-old method (indirect clitoral stimulation with my hand, on my stomach, legs crossed). If I can bring myself to four or five orgasms in less than 10 minutes this way, why bother with toys, lingerie, and setting the mood -- in short, why make it more work?
The answer is, of course, that there is more to sex -- both alone and with a partner (or several) -- than simple orgasm. And there's more than one kind of orgasm. As soon as I became sexually active with other people, I seemed to understand this intuitively. (It helped that many of my high school-era partners didn't, and though I wasn't quite sure what was missing, I knew it was a lot). But when I'm feeling solo and sexy, I tend towards efficient familiarity.
Which is why it took me nearly two weeks to test out my new G Twist from Good Vibrations, the highly regarded silicon vibrator with a ridged shaft, curved head, and base made to stimulate the clitoris. Or it could've been that the giant, matte black model with the realistic-looking head and spiraling shaft (sort of like a severed alien dick) was a bit intimidating, especially compared to its slim, pink, shiny plastic predecessor.
When I finally overcame my masturbation inertia and ripped into the packaging, I was pleased to find batteries and lube enclosed, though the multi-lingual directions were slightly less than useful -- it still took me 10 minutes to figure out how to get the cap off to insert the batteries.
Once I'd figured it out, I noticed the vibe's material was soft and smooth, much like an actual penis -- and the same realistic shape that was a bit scary in the box was exactly what made the toy appealing in my hand. Even better? The three speeds of vibration were all strong and steady, without being too loud (though not quite roommate proof if you share a room, or a bed). I couldn't wait to test out all the various promises this vibe -- a favorite of Good Vibrations salespeople, for its guaranteed pleasure and usability for men and women -- seemed to make. Could this be the toy that would change everything?
The answer turned out to be yes and no.
First, I used the G-Twist just for clitoral stimulation. Though pleasant, I found that - like other vibrators I've used - the vibrating sensation just doesn't do much for me externally. Am I doing it wrong? Is it my anatomy? Whatever it is, if my clitoris is the only organ involved, I seem to need a certain amount of pressure and rubbing to get in the mood as well as get off. The vibration, on the other hand, is just a frustrating tease.
Undeterred, I decided to use the G-Twist as it was intended, hoping the vibration along with clitoral stimulation and penetration might make the difference. This method was much, much better, and though I was more than happy with the lowest vibration speed, I could see how a more seriously steamy session, alone or with a partner, could definitely be taken to the next level with two more speeds to go.
I didn't however, notice any clitoral stimulation at all, but figured it was merely a geometry issue. I also couldn't feel much difference between the G-Twist's ridges and my older vibe's smooth shaft. But I wonder if it would've been easier to test this aspect of the G-Twist with a partner, whose positioning would lead to easier in-and-out penetration as opposed to my natural instinct to simply hold it inside. And finally, no matter which direction I turned the toy, I couldn't seem to get G-spotty goodness...or maybe my G-spot is in such a place that it's always stimulated during deep vaginal sex?
In the end, I was happiest using the G-Twist to modify Old Faithful, adding an exciting vibrating vaginal element to my tried-and-true on-the-stomach combo from childhood. This also seemed to be the only way to guarantee that I wouldn't accidentally shut off the vibrator with my gyrations, which happened when I was still on my back.
My conclusion? I wasn't converted. But I certainly wasn't disappointed. In fact, as far as vibrating toys go, I'd agree with the Good Vibes team that it might be one of the best, especially for beginners. It's well-made, splash proof (so easy to clean), a perfect medium size (in length and girth), and multi-faceted. No, I'm not giving up on the G-Twist. I think I'm just going to have to work a little harder to enjoy it -- spend a bit more time with Mr. G-Twist, maybe recruit some help. It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it.
... Mine, however, looks like it could belong to this guy.