Hot sexy events: May 12-18

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Naked Girls Reading breathes heavy after each semi colon (Sat/15)
Photo by Don Spiro

By the looks of things, I’m set to become the sexiest lady in San Francisco. After all, two of my favorite activities, reading and riding bikes, are being sex-a-fied and objectified this week -- and I kinda like it. Check out Dr. Sketchy’s Cute Girls on Bicycles, and Naked Girls Reading for a double dose of tame-ass female hotness (Sketchy’s girls will have clothes on, but the bookworms will be in all their literary glory). Geez, I hope next week doesn’t bring a Naked Girls Drinking Beer night, or a Naked Girls Using Too Many Adjectives In Their Writing night -- they’ll be ripping off my clothes in the streets!

Some Like It Hot: Spice Play

Those spices. Not only do they make your food more delicious, but now they can add a mouth-watering dimension to your BDSM play. This paidiea (“learning through play”) evening starts out with a brown bag dinner/munch, progresses to hands-on demonstration, and ends up with an open play sesh, so that you can put into practice the tasty recipes you’ve learned.

Thurs/11 7:30-10:30, $25 sliding scale, $3 materials

SF Citadel

1277 Mission, SF

www.edukink.org

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Dr. Sketchy’s Cute Girls on Bicycles

Ah, the voluptuous curve of the fender, the power and thrust of a true wheel, the tough love of a Brooks saddle… bikes are sexy enough, and when you pair them with lovely ladies -- well the result just makes you want to draw! So goes the reasoning of Dr. Sketchy, who is showcasing bike blogger Meli Burgueño, builder of Pelican bikes Constance Cavallas, and Amanda Lanker of Pushbikes Ladies Ride. 

Thurs/11 7-10 p.m., $7-10 

111 Minna Gallery

111 Minna, SF

www.drsketchysf.com

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Kevin Simmonds’ MASS

Witness a poetic recasting of male sexuality at this multimedia work by renaissance man Kevin Simmonds, who will utilize the bodies of 30 men to pose as St. Sebastian in this mass. Promises to be nothing like your altar boy experience, although the homo-erotic overtones of the Catholic Church might just poke their head out from under the priestly robes.

Sat/15 7 p.m.-8:30 p.m., free

Good Vibrations

1620 Polk, SF

(415) 345-0400

www.goodvibes.com

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Personal Thinking Patterns and Sex

How come dirty talk, costume play, and quickie stroking gets some people off and gets some people to flee? Well, apparently it has to do with the makeup of your “personal thinking pattern,” and hypnotherapist Heron Saline is here to introduce you to the driving manual of your mind. The class also allows time for sexual goal strategizing, which is nice.

Sat/15 10 a.m.- 5 p.m., $75-90

Center for Sex and Culture

1519 Mission, SF

(415) 706-9740

www.sexandculture.org

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Naked Girls Reading

Nothing more pleasing than a thrilling climax… in a book’s plot. This event really makes those “Reading is Sexy” bumper stickers put their money where their mouth (and boob) is, and features the out-loud talents of burlesque beauties Dottie Lux, Isis Star and Ruby Vixen.

Sat/15 7-9 p.m., $15 general admission, $20 front row

Center for Sex and Culture

1519 Mission, SF

www.nakedgirlsreading.com

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Men in Gear

Time to get all kitted out in your finest leather and spurs -- Chaps is throwing it’s weekly party for men who wear their hearts on their assless chaps and stompin’ boots. Drink specials for all those who come appropriately attired. And no cover!

Sat/15 9 p.m. - 12 a.m., free

Chaps

1225 Folsom, SF

(415) 863-1699

www.chapsbarsanfrancisco.com

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Age Play Adventure

Bring your Little to this special day of Citadel fun for those into age play. Diapering service provided, rumors of a dirty pediatrician on-site are unconfirmed, but probably true.

Sun/16 1-5 p.m.

SF Citadel

1519 Mission, SF

For more information email monikahottie@yahoo.com