Hot sexy events June 2-8

|
(0)
Miss Vagina Jenkins celebrates the queer rebels of the Harlem Renaissance (Fri/4)
Photo by Bryant Upchurch

I once took a memoir writing class that ended up being all women. One of the most powerful, if slightly cringe-inducing pieces that was read aloud was one from a fifty-something lady who'd just taken her first pole dancing class, a course which culminated in an amateur night at a local tattoo-and-piercing style strip club. This lady was absolutely, deep breathingly, tear jerkingly, blown away by the power surge of arousal that she got from trotting out her decidedly un-pinup lady parts on the floor. It made me wish that all moms got a gift certificate for stripper class upon their last child's exodus from the family home. Gosh, and what if they all got to check out a Vagina Jenkins show (Fri/4)! Do you like? If you do, check out Slinky Productions' little how-to on Sun/6. Sure, at $149 it's spendy, but at what cost sexy?

-------------------------------------------

Kinky Relationships

Just bridging that gap from vanilla to kinky with your naughty hottie? Learn to navigate the difference between “conventional” and pervy love – festish, BDSM – in addition to identifying who's a good play mate for tonight, and who's a keeper for tomorrow.

Thurs/3 7:30-10:30 p.m., $15-25 sliding scale

SF Citadel

1277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-1746

www.sfcitadel.org

-------------------------------------------

Rebel Girl

'Member the days when all it took to get known was a penchant for sharing personal stories... and scissors and a glue stick instead of quick index fingers and a smart phone? Them were the zine days, and they rocked it when it came to sexual revelation. Here to remind us about why they rocked are some of the sassiest queer zine scenesters everr. Don't worry, zines themselves, and cupcakes of course, will be on sale for those voracious readers among us. The event's a part of the National Queer Arts Festival, which is out and out awesome this year.

Thurs/3 8 p.m., $12-20

African-American Art and Culture Complex

762 Fulton, SF

www.queerculturalcenter.org

-------------------------------------------

Bent

This month's theme for the kinky youth play party is “Working Stiff,” which in Bent's case means you're going to have “The Office XXX” playing all night, sexy secretary strip teases, and a lot of jokes about “billable hours.” Tip from me: absolutely ignore them and please don't turn in a time card for your floggings on Monday.

Fri/4 9 p.m.- 2 a.m., $20

SF Citadel

1277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-1746

www.stefanosandchey.com/bent

-------------------------------------------

Exotic Dance Smorgasbord

They break the class schedule down pretty well for you: three kinds of hip gyrations, two “booty shows” (oh my!), three pole dance moves-swings, a lap dance routine and a floorshow routine await you here. And if that's not a lot of pizazz to fit into six hours, I don't know what is.

Sun/6 12-6 p.m., $149

Center for Sex and Culture

1519 Mission, SF

www.slinkyproductions.com

-------------------------------------------

Make Sundae Nasty!

Kick off Pride month (if you haven't by now, geez you've had five days already!) with this sexy, sexy ice cream bar at Renegade's, the only leather and Levis gay bar in San Jose. Soak your cherries in vodka, smother your body in whipped cream, lick your lips -- and if the paddle somehow found its way into your purse, well that's okay, too.

Sun/6 3-7 p.m., free

Renegades Bar

501 W Taylor, San Jose

(408) 275-9902 

www.renegadesbar.com

-------------------------------------------

Different Strokes

“About as fun as a hand job,” has been a good chum's mantra when it comes to the lame and frictive events he'd rather miss. Ah, the much maligned hand job. Would that one of this gentleman's partners had partook in this class, which promises a smooth rubdown from the ball sac massage to the triumphant fountain finish.

Mon/7 8-10 p.m., $25-30

Good Vibrations

2504 San Pablo, Berkl.

(510) 841-8987 

www.goodvibes.com