Sigh. I guess I'm supposed to be Christmas shopping right now. But all I can focus is on is another week of sweet and wild sex events – what's a girl to do? In the spirit of at least trying to pretend I give a damn, however, here are five fantastic places to buy sexy somethings for the naughties on your list. And the weekly sex events, of course.
1. Quality SM – run by womens since 1988, this locally based online catalog specializes in British BDSM titles. www.qualitysm.com
2. Dark Garden – the hottest corsets money can buy for the love in your life that needs cinching. 321 Linden, SF. (415) 431-7684, www.darkgarden.com
3.Good Vibrations – duh, if you read this column at all, duh. Various Bay Area locations. www.goodvibes.com
4. Stormy Leather – leather goods for all! 1158 Howard, SF. (415) 626-1672, www.stormyleather.com
5. Big Al's Adult Super Store – sample Yelp review: “Forget about stoopid goodvibes and their politically-correct-boring-medical-supply-store bullshit!” Great for bachelorette parties! 556 Broadway, SF. (415) 391-8510
Good Vibrations Customer Appreciation Night
Surely this night was formulated with the diligent holiday shopper in mind, but really Good Vibes – free wine and chocolate? One-on-one attention from sexperts? This is one shopping event (actually five – Fri/17, Sat/18, Weds/22 and Thurs/23 will see the same perks) that will nurture the sex life of the gifter and giftee in one fell swoop. Pick up a present for you and yours, how bout?
Thurs/16 6-8 p.m., free
Various Bay Area locations
International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers
Started in SF, this is the day to honor all those that lay down for our bullshit – and bucks – and to speak out against the violence and discrimination heaped on them in return. Friday's memorial at City Hall features a performance piece entitled “Sex Worker Scream,” a reading of all of 2010's victims, and a candlelit march to the Center for Sex and Culture for tea and cookies, for real.
Performance and vigil start at 4:17 p.m., march after to Center for Sex and Culture, free
In front of City Hall, SF
Naked Girls Reading
Started by burlesque champion Michelle L'Amour in Chicago, this nudie reading series has spread to cities across the country – and none of the chapters have more sexy indie cred than SF's franchise. Started by Burly Q beauty-erotica writer Lady Monster, this month's event will see the women reading literature penned by sex workers. Annie Sprinkle makes a guest appearance, you can augment your literary arsenal, and see some boobies -- what could be better, right?
Fri/17 8 p.m., $10-20
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF
Pansexual play party Pink has made a practice of having sexy pre-event lessons to ease you into a night of swinging and cavorting at Mission Control's pillow strewn harem rooms. This month, come early for a crash course on flirting: Jasper from The New Eccentrics will be taking it deep and hard into the areas of the brain and the corresponding ways to get them all hot and bothered (in a metaphysical sense).
Fri/17 9 p.m. charm school, 10 p.m. party
2519 Mission, SF
An encore performance by Ms. San Francisco Leather contestant Ms. Cat, singletail whip-throwing contests, vibrator races, and kinky raffles await you at this decidedly un-cotton candy carnival (although there will be a dessert table on hand). Plus, as befitting the holiday season, The Exiles (SF's womens-only BDSM educational group) will be holding a children's toy drive at their get-down.
Fri/17 7:30 p.m., $10 non-members
3543 18th St., SF
BBW BDSM Munch
Will all the big, beautiful, kinky women please stand up? That's right, now find some car keys and roll to Milpitas, because there's a far-flung party that's being held in your honor. Yessir, here in the embrace of mesquite-grilled Southwestern fare you can find a diverse spread of those who'd be honored to engage in some rough play with you – men, women, doms, subs, everything in between. Appetites encouraged, as is street wear (you'll be in a public room, no need to stress the squares).
Sat/18 11 a.m.-1 p.m., free (purchase of food or drink encouraged)
On The Border
260 Ranch, Milpitas