Woman scantily clad and covered in lube is hot enough, but then the bell rings. They slip, they slide, they ride; lady parts will flail again in a tub full of slippery goop this Thursday at El Rio's Go Deep! Lube Wrestling.
Girl on girl wrestling at my favorite dive bar? Yes, this seems like a trick, but Go Deep! is a real event, produced by the lovely Dottie Lux of Red Hot Burlesque. The new monthly night started in April and Dottie says the sexy matches couldn't have been more successful. "I stood with my mouth agape for three solid hours -- it was super fun, amazing, and totally hilarious."
The current line-up of "celebrity wrestlers" are local, fearless femmes handpicked by Dottie. From stylists to sassy clowns, the request for daring athletes was sent to over 40 businesses and organizations in the Bay, targeted at any lass who has a connection to "something larger." Contestants are encouraged to bring a posse, a supportive group of pals to cheer and wail and gush over their slimy acquaintance in the ring. So far the wrestling isn't set up like a tournament, meaning everybody is a winner-- literally, every girl gets a prize from Dottie's box, including donated sex toys, garter belts, steamy books -- and bacon?
"Bacon is always a prize," Dottie says, pointedly not following up the comment any sign of mirth. This is serious: pin a hottie and bring home the salty meat.
Ideally, participation in the ring will open up to the lady community at large as the event builds its fan base. If you're interested in stripping down and pinning an unfamiliar femme, Dottie is currently accepting applications. Just remember, this ain't no easy romp in the kiddie pool.
"These women are out of breath. They're working hard in there," she says, noting the difficulties a challenger must face. "Gravity, stabilization, balance? All gone. All the usual resources you would normally have during wrestling are gone. It's just too slippery."
So far the rules simply summarized: women only, no shoes, no choking, be nice, don't be drunk. Oh, and private parts must be legally covered -- boo! Thankfully this rule has a tendency to slip. Bikinis and lube don't sit well, at least as far as modesty's concerned.
"We had to learn how to better secure clothing. The girls kept losing their tops." Keeping her eyes open for this type of situation is Dottie's main job during the event. When a human body is glazed, the senses get a little blurry. At one point during the last Go Deep!, "we paused the show and the crowd started chanting, 'double-knot, double-knot.'" The tops were retied fairly successfully. You wrestle and you learn.
"Some girls tried electrical tape on their nipples. Sports bras are great. I think they should try out t-shirts, maybe little t-shirts." From slings to spacesuits, I'm pretty sure the crowd will support any and all wrestler wardrobe choices -- as long as the moves remains wet and wild. Last month's audience was perfectly rowdy and Dottie hopes that people will continue to come with lots of enthusiasm. It's not every day a scene from the L-Word or stereotypical frat boy's dream comes to life. Thankfully, the female-objectifying crowd you might suspect to show up at event promising nearly naked wrestling won't be invited.
"As for the douche factor, it's absolutely something I'm going to keep my eye on. My number one as a producer of this event is to make sure women are safe," Dottie reassures. "I don't want to kick people out, but I wouldn't put it past me."
Dottie plans to continue marketing the event to people and places that understand this is a woman-positive event, and she wants to keep it at El Rio, regardless of how popular the event becomes. If it would move to a larger venue, she'd loose some of the control and endanger it's sanctity. "It's an event for us, by us."
I can only hope it goes down something like this:
Thurs/5 9 p.m., $10-15 sliding scale
3158 Mission, SF