And we're back! After a brief jaunt around the world, I've returned to hunker sexily down amidst a mountain of press releases for SF's sluttiest happenings (yes, they make press releases). Seems like y'all have been busy since I've been gone – this week alone there's a big-ass conference for nerdy – is there any other kind? – pervs and a class with Madison Young on making your own adult videos.
Idea: go to Young's Good Vibes class tonight, complete your star turn post-learnin', and learn how to market and code the darn thing (or meet someone who can) this weekend! Then give link to all the new friends you meet at Pride. Planning ahead: it pays!
Because it's not just about figuring out how to many books to prop the Flip atop. No no, recording your sexy precious moments requires a lot more skills – starting off with the skill of knowing what dirty tricks you'd most like to capture for posterity. Femina Potens' head mistress Madison Young (it's safe to say) is a master at figuring these kinds of things out, so entrust to her your future on the silver – or laptop – screen. She'll be touching on scripts, casting, and financing, so dream big.
Wed/15 6-8 p.m., $20-26
1620 Polk, SF
Ecosexual Queer Porn Night
Ecosexuality, the sensual relationship with the world around us. Not surprisingly, Nature (that sexy beast) plays a big roles in many pornos. Beaches, vineyards, parks – all this and more you will see for your own dirty little eyes if you attend a mini-fest incongruously located in the Tall Tree Tambo center, which last I checked was a spa and woo-woo health club-skillshare type arrangement in the back of Lower Haight's favorite hippie hangout, Pkok. Enjoy! (Psst, if things get really natural, ask to take the party to the sauna out back in the garden).
Thurs/16 8-11 p.m., $10
Tall Tree Tambo Wellness Center
776 Haight, SF (behind Pkok)
Formerly the Cybernet Expo, this three day conference for the online sex industry promises to hook you up... with networking opportunities, at least. Attend speed mix-and-mingle sessions with your point-and-click-to-perversion peers, learn about legal issues surrounding online porn and escort services, and of course, the Saturday night show. Last year the nerds hit up the Kink.com palace, but this year they won't even have to truck out the Mission: Kimo's is hosting a show by the Asian Diva Girls and Smash Up Derby, which is curiously dubbed “one of San Francisco's favorite bands” by conference organizers. Well hell, if they say so!
Holiday Inn Golden Gateway
1500 Van Ness, SF
Kinky Salon: SanFranSexual
Be entertained by Chadd Behavior of SF Boylesque and the triumphant return to Mission Control by X-rated storytelling doyenne Dixie De La Tour – or just fool around with everyone in the building. This week's Kinky Salon swinger's party is themed SanFranSexual for a reason, you're allowed to do whatever the hell you want, in style.
Sat/18 10 p.m.-late, $25-30 members only
Bawdy Storytelling: Tales of Non-Monogamy
Bawdy's back – could this be the most popular monthly storytelling series in the Bay, pervy or not? – in its East Bay incarnation. Dixie's overseeing a night of swingtastic synopses, from fundamentalist Christians at key clubs (I'd love to hear the scripture on that), and other godly pursuits.
Tues/21 8 p.m., $10
1928 Telegraph, Oakl.