As the world comes tumbling down around our ears, it can be difficult to think about getting it on. Just kidding. People are as freaky as ever in San Francisco, which is good 'cause pretty soon that Big One will come and we'll all fall into the ocean, the flames, a cravasse-abyss where the San Andreas Fault used to be -- naked. Hopefully it won't be this week, though. We've got a lot of filthy sex events to go to.
“Bawdy Storytelling: Queer”
How hip is queer right now? From Hard French to New York's recent triumph to Queen Latifah, all you gotta do is add a LGBT to the front of your event title and bam! Your crowd will be a. hotter and b. hotter. Perhaps, then, you should not miss this edition of Bawdy Storytelling, fresh off its triumphant receipt of our Best of the Bay award for “Best Titillating T.M.I.” The pervy share sesh is trotting out sexy dykes 'n' fags galore to share the more, er, colorful side of living over the rainbow.
Wed/10 8 p.m., $10
The Blue Macaw
2565 Mission, SF
“SSEX BBOX: It's Complicated”
You've got lots to say about sex, don't you? SSEX BBOX is counting on it – that's why the alternative sexuality web series is hosting this dance party-fundraiser-filming (we know what you're thinking, it's not like that. Okay, maybe it's kind of like that) at El Rio. They'll be looking for your views on gender, relationships, and sexuality – all while DJs Booty Klap and Miss Pop shuck and jive.
Thu/11 8 p.m.-1 a.m., $7
3158 Mission, SF
This poster for this party asks “what do you have a taste for?” It's really, really hoping the answer is go-go dancers. The menfolk will be gyrating under the black lights for this one, and you're invited to bust your tongue out, all over them. Brush your teeth before you come, yes you.
Fri/12 10 p.m.-1 a.m., $5
1347 Folsom, SF
Arty Shoe Party
“You know how picky I am about shoes, and they only go on my feet!” Ah Alicia Silverstone, how you right you were: it simply doesn't do to be Clueless about footwear. Alas, many of us are – hell, I'm wearing waterproof boat shoes as we speak. Not so at this weekend's Center for Sex and Culture fundraiser bash, where nude models will be strutting about in artistically accomplished heels and flats. Worship them, foot fetishers – that's kind of the point.
Sat/13 2-7 p.m., $20
Center for Sex and Culture
1349 Mission, SF
Burlesque and Brass
Cafe Van Kleef's cozy climes, crowded with mysterious tchotchkes and cocktail-wielding friendly strangers, seems ready-made for Louisianian jazz. It's a busty sort of music, isn't it? Perhaps that's why Hot Pink Feathers' floorshows seem to go so well with Blue Bone Express' robust aural stylings at Burlesque and Brass. Of course, New Orleans has long been known as a top-notch melting pot of colorful characters – small wonder that this show features Italy's Scarlett Martini, Germany's Hedo Luxe, and Switzerland's Koko La Douce.
Sat/13 9:30 p.m.-1 a.m., $10
Cafe Van Kleef
1621 Telegraph, Oakl.
“How To Have Sex With a Transguy”
A special somebody caught your eye on the dancefloor last weekend, but you backed off after the initial make-out session because you weren't positive you'd know what to do with it once you got it? To the uninitiated, having sex with a transperson can seem very mysterious. And no one likes to look like a first-timer (unless that's like, your thing). Enter Liam “Captain” Snowdon, poet-activist-educator. Snowdon will be giving not-super-straight talk on gender reassignment surgery and its results on getting down – strategies, and ways to communicate so that you and Mr. Lust can skip to the bedroom, sans baggage.
Mon/15 6-8 p.m., $20-25
1620 Polk, SF
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