Sex SF

Hot sexy events December 22-28

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Santa was a freak. Think on it: he gets around by whipping those reindeers’ tender flesh (hello, dom), sneaks in your house at night to kiss your mama, and has a bizarre obsession with whether you’ve been naughty or nice. To me, that sounds like… well someone who reads this column, that’s all. And it very much clears up Chaps’ much-heralded holiday hours (on Fri/24 and Sat/25 they’re open from 8 p.m.-late). Would you like to sit on Santa's lap? Get cruisey, all you ho-ho-hoes -- it’s Christmas time for the weekly sex events.

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Hot sexy events December 15-21

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Sigh. I guess I'm supposed to be Christmas shopping right now. But all I can focus is on is another week of sweet and wild sex events – what's a girl to do? In the spirit of at least trying to pretend I give a damn, however, here are five fantastic places to buy sexy somethings for the naughties on your list. And the weekly sex events, of course. 

1. Quality SM – run by womens since 1988, this locally based online catalog specializes in British BDSM titles. www.qualitysm.com

2. Dark Garden – the hottest corsets money can buy for the love in your life that needs cinching. 321 Linden, SF. (415) 431-7684, www.darkgarden.com

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Libidinous literature with Naked Girls Reading

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I had asked Lady Monster, over a pair of red wine glasses and the pleasant buzz of nearby patrons at Revolution Cafe, to tell me what story she'd read at the Halloween installation of her Naked Girls Reading literary series. We were chatting in anticipation of her International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers edition of NGR (Fri/17) which will take place at the Center for Sex and Culture after the day's City Hall vigil and march.

The curvaceous redhead is quite the story teller, even clothed. “I did the elevator scene from The Shining,” she told me, launching into a brief summary of the Torrance family's elevator travails. By the end of it I had the crap scared out of me – and she was fully clothed! Imagine what this lady can get done in the buff – surely, a live literary luminary not to be trifled with. Read more »

Hooking starts at home

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Well goddammit if it's not raining again. San Francisco is not a town that is built for this: we don't have fenders on our bikes, our bomber jackets are all made of suede, and our skin melts in even the slightest drizzle. So why not use this shut-in time to create smutty presents for your seductee-to-be this holiday season? Is this pillow turning you on?

“I've been a hooker since I was 11 years old. Back then it was all about smiley faces and rainbows, but I've matured and so have my designs,” states Brooklyn-via-Castro photographer-hooker Kevin L. Muth by way of introduction to his Dirty Pillowz DIY kits ($35). His kits supply all that you need to create retro-looking, shaggy pillows that look like the lead up to a killer money shot. Designs include four stills of man-on-man loving – including one lovely homage to the tube sock -- and two booby pillow pleasers (every woman has them). Read more »

Hot sexy events: December 8-14

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So how's this for weird: rich folks get freaky too! Yes indeed, according to our friends at the Bay Citizen, upon the launch of an investigation into her and her husband's possible involvement in an inside trading ring (don't they just always want to get into those things?) Pac Heights lady-who-lunches Annabel McClellan was discovered to be working on the gosh darn kinkiest iPhone app we've ever heard of: My Nookie. 

The app allows users to dish down to the nitty-gritty about their super hot hookups, right down to the positions, location of consummation, and partner used and abused. Share the info with your friends and even send de-personalized My Nookie messages to potential partners with purple anonymous avatars performing the sex event you'd like to try with them. Says McClellan (whose lawyer denies her involvement with the app)'s business partner Milly Hanley to the Bay Citizen, “we are housewives, our kids are older now. We were looking for something to do.” Consider your wealth-induced ennui assuaged, ladies! Now onto the sex events. Read more »

Hot sexy events: December 1-7

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Are you an ecosexual? Do you enjoy skinny dipping, walking barefoot through tall grasses, thrill to a particularly hot sunset – perhaps fill with a lover's rage at the notion of mountaintop removal and clear-cut forests? 

Well then. Annie Sprinkle is out, and proud, and ready to help you be too: the classic neo-porn star has participated in lavish art weddings the world over with partner Beth Stevens to bind themselves to Mother Earth's peaks and valleys (often with Annie's 36E peaks on prominent display). Sprinkle is taking the show to Mission Control for an eco-party tomorrow (Thurs/2), along with Carol Queen's demonstration of eco-friendly sex toys, and a Gaiia-centered ritual with Francesca Gentille. You may just come out of the earth-loving closet yourself, nature mama. Read more »

Rites of nude math professors and Berkeley

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“Frankly, I'm a bit baffled by all this,” Frenkel told us in an email follow-up to a phone interview conducted later this week. The UC Berkeley math professor was referring to the fact that the Mathematical Sciences Research Institute, who had announced they would sponsor today (Wed/1)'s US premiere of his sensual math film, Rites of Love and Math, decided to pull their support earlier this week.

They had us at "sensual math film."

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Hot sexy events: November 24-30

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Femina Potens is moving up and out! But not too far. According to an email sent by the gallery featuring a look back by director-founder Madison Young, SF's favorite woman-run, sex-positive workshop/art show/bacchanal is celebrating its 10th anniversary this month with a move to a larger space that will still be on Market Street.

Says Young of the initial creation of FP, which she named after a tattoo meaning "powerful women" that she saw on a woman's arm: "I was only 20 years old but felt a very clear calling to create space for people to feel comfortable to express and explore their identity, their bodies, their boundaries, with out shame through art, sexuality, and education." Oh, and she'll be incepting a little something of her own: this hot mama's preggers. Come March 2011, she'll there will be another MILF on the scene, plus one more body-positive little girl in the world. Read more »

Folsom gives good skrill at the Armory

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I'll admit I went to Kink's baroque bordello atop the Mission Tuesday night to check out the fine china and torpedo breasted, roped-up female statues  – but I stayed to watch men in leather pants give away monies to local angels. 

Those dashing fellows would be Folsom Street Events, who used the ambiance of the Amory's penthouse to donate $326,161 in 2010 proceeds from the Fair, Up Your Alley, and Magnitude to their 16 beneficiary non-profits. It was a gentle flog on the ass of a reminder to anyone who says that perverts never did anything for our city, not to mention a welcome sign that our great grant-making institutions haven't completely gone under yet. Read more »

Hot sexy events November 17-23

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You think that time you had a bad dream and awoke abruptly to the sounds of creaking in the bedroom next door was bad? What if that scene was being filmed, and instead of mom and marital romanticism at issue, Dad was boning Bambi Woods to shouts of “More ass! I need to see more ass!”? Such was the life (well, maybe the filming itself wasn't going down in his family abode) of Bobby Gordon. Dad in this case was Howie Gordon, Playgirl's 1979 Man of the Year and star of over 100 pornographic titles. Well hell, you'd make a movie about it too. See's Bobby's at Center for Sex and Culture Sat/20.

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