› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

I'm getting superfrustrated. I don't have the highest sex drive, but it is there. However, I can't understand why my brain and my body tell me I want to do something that inevitably makes me uncomfortable and unhappy. Even with lube, sex leaves me sore for hours. I try to just give my boyfriend blow jobs so I can avoid having to have sex. I'm 21 and have been sexually active for about three years, and I just always figured everything would get better.

And it's not just intercourse. Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

I'm a little confused. Could you please explain all the different genders? It seems there is so much more out there than just male and female: transsexuals, he-shes, shemales ... And are hermaphrodites real? I'm most intrigued by them. Do they live as male or as female? Are they born that way? Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

I read your recent article about postpregnancy changes [12/19/07]; you didn't mention one promising new treatment for stress incontinence, stem cells. Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

No, not that kind of "a week late." This is my New Year's column, a week late, but let's not beat ourselves up over it. Barring the exceedingly rare case in which someone both recognizes the need for change and makes and keeps a promise, New Year's resolutions mostly just hang around like any other weapon (see: Chekhov's gun), waiting for us to use them against ourselves. Some people won't have a gun in the house; I won't have stupid vows lying around waiting for me to stub my toe on them. Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

I have a friend a few years younger than me. We were recently at a bar talking about his girlfriend and my wife. After a time, he confided to me that in the past few weeks he has been having trouble getting it up and was very concerned that he would have to take erectile dysfunction meds for the rest of his life or that he was losing his edge. We are both in our early 40s and in good shape and health.

My answer to him was that he should not panic. Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

I'm a guy with a platonic, single, straight female friend in her mid-20s who could really use her first sex toy but doesn't seem comfortable enough with her sexuality to buy one on her own. The holidays seem like the perfect excuse to give a gift that keeps on giving. Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

I have a good one for you! What does being pregnant and having a baby do to your body? Is it true that birth will enlarge your vagina, or make it "loose?" Does it get worse if you have more children? Is it noticeable to men? What about if you have a C-section? Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

My ex-boyfriend won't give me back my stuff! I've e-mailed him repeatedly but gotten no response. I broke up with him because he just couldn't be bothered to show up or call. After three months of him flaking, I ended things.

He was also impotent, but couldn't have an adult conversation about it. He was tired, or his grandmother was dying ... Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

I am newly married and have a great, fulfilling sex life with my husband. A while ago, I told him that I'm really turned on by the thought of him rousing me out of sleep with sex. Months have passed since I told him my fantasy, and, thinking he just wasn't interested, I recently asked him why he hadn't tried it yet. Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Readers:

You want to talk about homophobia! That's cool. So do I, especially if it means we don't have to talk about circumcision, which — really, honestly, wow. People, some perspective here. I was watching Delicatessen the other night — you know, the surreal French horror-comedy about the landlord–cum–deli owner who keeps his meat locker stocked the same way Mrs. Lovett got her mince for pies in Sweeney Todd, my all-time favorite piece of musical theater? Read more »