› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea: My girlfriend is really into BDSM. At first I tried and played a convincing (I think) top-dom, but it just wasn't hot for me, so I looked some stuff up to get inspired. As I was reading-watching, I would really get off on it, but the sex with my girlfriend still wasn't hot. Then I realized that when I was masturbating to all this I was fantasizing about subbing. Oops. I am way in love with my girlfriend, but she is a bottom. Period. Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea: I've found myself a femmy boy who's willing — nay, enthusiastically prepared — to wear green eye shadow in public. This is delicious. However, we live in Colorado Springs, Colo., which is for its size a wealthy and well-educated town, but also headquarters for Focus on the Family, New Life Church, Will Perkins, Fort Carson, NORAD, and the Air Force Academy. Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

I'm in my thirties. Most of my life, my sex drive has been pretty low — not during the "honeymoon" phase, but within a year, it tends to taper off to almost nothing. This significantly, negatively impacts my relationships (my last one ended due to not enough sex; my current one has same problem).

I suspect this is pretty common. What are the typical causes of low libido in women? Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

I read your column about potential causes of a husband's lackluster performance in the bedroom [8/8/07]. You mentioned that the letter writer's husband should talk to his doctor about low testosterone, and I thought you might be interested in more information on that. As you said, low testosterone (low T) and diabetes are linked. In fact, a recent study found that men with diabetes are more than twice as likely to have low T than other men. Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

I am in love with a girl a few years younger than me. She's in her early 20s, and before me she had never had a sexual partner. The fact that I've been around the block over and over again made me reluctant to become "that guy." That said, our relationship has become very serious as well as emotionally rewarding.

The fact that I've been recruited as the lab segment for a human sexuality course has not been lost on me. I've done my best to exemplify a quality educational experience. Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

Is there any hope for my husband, who is not able to launch since he's on tons of meds (diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, etc.)? He's too embarrassed to ask the doctor, and asking would mean yet another pill. Could he be depressed? Are you the one to speak to?

Love,

Nothing Happening Here

Dear Haps:

I can be spoken to, but your husband is going to have to speak up for himself. The doctors should ask, but they often don't want to or just don't. Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

My straight (?) man who loves women and their curves and smiles and butts and legs, who loves me and my mom and his mom and all the pretty girls who pass us on the sidewalk, also really, really likes looking at transsexual porn. He likes really feminine-looking guys who have long pretty hair and soft girly curves. He tells me he has no interest in following through with what has been for him a very, very long-term turn-on. Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

I have been reading you forever and you are awesome! I have been too intimidated to write but decided to break the silence. I'm a 36-year-old single bisexual woman who is beautiful (or so I'm told). I've been attracting more than my fair share of inappropriate dudes and women. This past year, my cousin's boyfriend came on to me, a married guy begged me to be with him, and a possessive Scorpio threatened suicide over me. Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

I get cold sores on my lips. Since I don't want to infect my wife with the herpes virus when I have an outbreak, I don't kiss or go down on her. Am I being too cautious? Is it safe to go down on her while I have cold sores?

Love,

Careful Hubby

PS I like the way you always end your responses with "Love."

Dear Hub:

Me too, thanks. And of course you're not being too cautious. Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

I recently broke up with my girlfriend (I'm a woman). Everything had started out peachy and remained so until about a month and a half before the breakup. It seemed that our growing emotional intimacy triggered her childhood issues (neglect, abuse, you name it ... followed by addiction; she's now thankfully in recovery), and she started pushing me away, then moved on to heavy criticism and blaming. Read more »